


Clock Strikes

by isaymeow, MikazukiMunechika305



Category: Hakuouki
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-15
Updated: 2016-06-17
Packaged: 2018-06-02 09:46:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 34
Words: 40,658
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6561511
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/isaymeow/pseuds/isaymeow, https://archiveofourown.org/users/MikazukiMunechika305/pseuds/MikazukiMunechika305
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Believe the time is always forever, and I'll always be there. I won't go away and won't say never. It doesn't have to be even, you can keep it till the end."</p><p>~It hurt. It hurt so badly, he just wanted to die. Actually, he didn’t want to die–but he wanted the pain to go away and never come back. If he could achieve that by dying, he’d be happy to do so.~</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

It hurt. It hurt so badly, he just wanted to die.  
Actually, he didn’t want to die–but he wanted the pain to go away and never come back. If he could achieve that by dying, he’d be happy to do so.  
Once again, Souji weakly pressed his hand to his mouth, coughing in pain, before looking down at his bloodstained clothes.  
He was completely alone in the boys’ changing room–why had he gone to the kendo training again?  
…right. Because kendo was his life.  
And now, because he had stayed in the hall longer than the others, he probably was completely alone in the whole school. He’d apparently lost his inhaler, and he felt too weak to get his cell phone.   
Nevertheless, his head shot up in hope when the door opened.  
— — —  
After helping to tutor a fellow student in History, Hajime made his way towards the practice hall. Though he knew he would be doing so alone, he still wanted to make up for missing practice since the Kendo tournament was only a month away. The honor of the school’s winning streak was on the line, so he wanted to be sure to help them retain that title.

He opened the door the changing room, his footsteps echoing as he approached his locker. Hajime turned the corner and his eyes widened as he say a figure slumped on the floor still wearing his practice uniform. “S…Souji?!” 

He hurried over and kneeled down beside him, dropping his school bag on the floor. His friend was stained with blood on his clothing and hands, and was paler than a ghost. “I need to get you to the school nurse’s office immediately,” he said in a serious tone while placing his arm under his shoulder and around his chest to help him to his feet.  
— — —  
“Ha-Hajime-kun,” Souji mumbled hoarsely, but in relief.  
Even the slight pressure his best friend had to apply to his chest in order to help him to get up resounded in pain, but he decided to try and bear it for now.  
“It… it hurts… but why are you here? I thought… everyone had gone… home already…”  
— — —  
Hajime was sure to be careful when starting to help him walk after he said he was in pain. He knew Souji had been sick, but he didn’t know it was to this extent. “After tutoring I wanted to get some practice in, but that doesn’t matter,” he said while carrying the brunt of his friend’s weight as they slowly moved towards the door.

“You should not have been practicing if you were this ill,” he said in a low voice. Souji was always so stubborn, and this time it left him in the state he was now. Hajime knew how much the upcoming tournament meant to his friend as well, but his health came first. “Kondou-san and Hijikata-san would have let you skip if you told them,” he said, “There won’t be a title if the star Kendo captain isn’t 100%”  
— — —  
“I know, but…” Souji wiped across his eyes, not caring if he spread more blood on his face now. “…it’s not like it’d ever change. This… could happen anytime, so… it would’ve happened if I’d skipped practice, too. I felt perfectly fine when I started. Besides, Hijikata-san knows about it… he’s got my second inhaler, just in case I lose or forget mine like it happened now… but it was so sudden, I couldn’t call him. And if you tell Kondou-san about this, I’ll kill you mercilessly. I don’t want him to know.”  
Now that he was on his feet and walking, he felt a little better, but his chest and throat still felt as if they were on fire.  
“I know this will kill me sooner or later, so I at least want to enjoy the time I have before that happens.”  
He trusted Saitou to not tell anyone; after all, his best friend was very good at keeping secrets.  
“But… don’t tell anyone.” After hesitating briefly, Souji added, “…please.”  
— — —  
Hajime stopped walking when Souji mentioned that his illness would likely be his downfall. How could he mention such a thing like that so casually? He felt a mix of anger and sadness inside. How long had Hijikata known about this, and why hadn’t his best friend told him sooner? 

Souji had been his best friend since middle school, he was the first person to accept him into the Kendo club. They challenged each other in the dojo, studied together, and looked out for each other. He couldn’t help but feel a bit hurt that something so serious had been kept from him.

He hesitated, but nodded and promised to not tell anyone. “I won’t, but only if you promise not to carry this burden alone,” he said in a quiet voice. They entered the empty nurse’s office and Sannan must have already left for the day. Hajime helped Souji to a bed before offering, “Hijikata-san is probably still grading in the teachers’ lounge. Is it OK with you if I go get him?”  
— — —  
Souji let out a ragged sigh, letting himself sink into the white sheets. He didn’t like the nurse’s office and Sannan probably wouldn’t be too happy if he was to find the bed more red than white tomorrow, but it couldn’t be helped. “Hey, Hajime-kun…”  
When he had a tuberculosis attack was one of the rare moments when he was completely honest and only said what he really meant.  
“…sorry. I really am. I wanted to tell you, but I didn’t know how. I didn’t want to worry you.”  
He grasped his best friend’s hand and held it against his forehead briefly. A relieved sigh escaped his lips when he felt the calming coolness. Probably his body temperature was way higher than it should be.  
“Yeah, go and get Hijikata-san. And please tell him to bring my inhaler, okay? He once said, ‘unlike yourself, I care for your health and always have it with me,’ so I guess that shouldn’t be a problem…”

As soon as Saitou had left him alone, his head fell back and his whole body suddenly seemed to be on fire. He started coughing again, and it hurt even more than before.  
“Hajime…-kun… please hurry…”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, here's the second chapter! I know it's really late, but school and laziness got the better of me... though now I finally saved the whole thing and split it into chapters, so I hope I'll be able to update a little more regularly! I'm sorry!  
> As usual, I hope you can enjoy reading! ^.^V  
> \--Haru

As Souji apologized for keeping this a secret he started to feel a bit better. He knew that he likely had his reasons, and now he knew how much hiding it hurt his friend. He felt him grab ahold of his hand, and when Souji placed it on his own forehead he could feel the fever. Hajime knew he needed help quickly, so as soon as he mentioned for him to leave and get Hijikata-san he nodded and left in a hurry.  
  
He raced down the hall and stepped into the empty teacher’s lounge, immediately finding Hijikata at his desk. “It’s Souji, please follow me, Hijikata-san,” he said getting straight to the point. Their teacher jumped to his feet, snuffing out his cigarette as a worried expression spread across his face.   
  
The sound of their hurried footsteps echoed down the empty hall as they made their way to the nurse’s office. The sound of violent coughing erupted from the room as they opened the door. Hijikata rushed past Hajime and went immediately to his friend.  
  
Hijikata helped him upright before pulling the spare inhaler out of his suit jacket pocket. “Dammit Souji, you look worse than usual,” he muttered while helping the student to use the device.   
**_~_**  
Hajime moved over to the bed slowly, and took a seat at the edge. He couldn’t help himself from gripping the edge of the sheets in his hands, and he couldn’t hide the worry on his normally calm face. _Hijikata-san brought your medicine, please let this attack pass_ , he thought silently to himself as he watched Souji struggle.  
**_~_**  
Souji took two deep breaths from the inhaler placed between his lips and calmed down immediately, his body only shaking slightly. “Hijikata-san,” he said quietly, attempting to grin weakly. “Who would’ve thought you’d actually come… your life could be so much easier if I wasn’t here after all…”  
“Shut up, idiot. You’re my student; how could I let you die?!” Hijikata scolded him, but he sounded more relieved than angry. “I’ll take you home and there you’ll stay for at least tomorrow, you understand?”  
“I’m sure I’ll be able to come to school tomorrow,” Souji resisted hoarsely.  
But Hijikata insisted, “You’ve got a fever, Souji. It hasn’t gone as quickly as usually this time, has it? It’s getting more serious, you should go to the hospital for a check-up.”  
“I’ll be fine–”  
“Saitou, can you stay with him for the night, or maybe, if it comes to that, a little longer? I’ll tell the teachers that I know why you’re absent, so it won’t affect your grades–that goes for either of you.” Then, he added, “It’s probably even better if he spends the night at my place. Saitou, if you want to, I’ll take you home, but you can also spend the night with him in my flat. It’s your decision.”  
Souji’s vision now went blurry, his head fell back again and his eyes fell closed slowly. There was only a dull pain in his chest and throat left, so exhaustion got the better of him.  
**_~_**  
Saitou was relieved that Hijikata took control of the situation and ordered Souji to rest. While the both of them often disagreed, he knew that Hijikata cared for him… and all the other kendo students like they were his family. That was one of the many reasons he admired his Sensei and wanted to work so hard to please him.  
  
He was about to accept Hijikata’s offer when Souji passed out. He sat up tensely, knowing that he was just exhausted… but it didn’t make the sight any easier to bear. “Hai,” Hajime said assuredly. “I would prefer to stay with Souji, if that’s alright, Hijikata-san.” Once he had given his response, Hijikata nodded, and between the two of them they were able to get Souji to Hijikata’s flat.  
**_~_**  
Saitou sat on the floor beside the bed where Souji was sleeping soundly, reading his textbook in order to not only keep up with his studies, but to keep his mind focused. Eventually exhaustion took hold, and he fell asleep upright with his book still open.


	3. Chapter 3

When Souji woke up, he found himself laying in a big, clean bed. His hand wiped across his face slowly and he realized that he must have been cleaned properly before being put into that bed.  
Looking around a little after carefully sitting up, he also found Saitou laying on the floor.  
“Hijikata-san?” he called out silently because he assumed this must be his teacher’s flat.  
Hijikata quickly entered the room and let out a relieved sigh when he saw that Souji was as fine as he could be. “What is it?”  
“Hey, could you put Hajime-kun onto the bed too? He shouldn’t sleep down there.”  
His teacher did as he was asked to do before saying, “I have to leave for work now. Tell Saitou I left something to eat for you in the kitchen, as well as some money in case you want to order sushi or pizza or whatever for lunch.”  
“Yeah. Have a good day.”  
Hijikata hurried over to him to quickly check his temperature. “…your fever hasn’t gone down yet, so stay in bed for today. That’s why Saitou’s here.”  
“I know~” Souji replied almost annoyedly before waving at Hijikata. “You don’t have to worry.”  
**_~_**  
Saitou was sleeping peacefully, though that was till he felt movement next to him. His eyes shot open, finding a magazine over his face. As his sight focused, he immediately blushed and sat upright, sending the images of scantily clad woman on cars to the ground.  
“What… how…” Hajime stuttered as he heard laughter erupt beside him. He turned his gaze and saw his friend with a wide grin on his face, “Souji… you did that?” His face scrunched up with continued embarrassment, wondering how long he had been sleeping like that.    
But his laugh then was followed by coughing, and he totally cleared what had just happened from his mind. He quickly shifted on the bed and checked Souji’s forehead, which was still burning hot. “Stay here, let me get you some water,” he said quickly standing up and making his way over to the kitchen.   
He returned with a glass filled with ice and handed it over to him, “I can make you some tea, but first drink this… hopefully that will quell your fever.”  
**_~_**  
“Of course, I had to take that great chance,” Souji defended himself, chuckling. However, his laughing quickly turned into coughing and the hand covering his mouth soon was red with blood again.   
When Saitou came back from the kitchen with a glass of icily cold water, Souji stared at it in disgust.  
“But… that’s _cold_ , Hajime-kun!” He knew that this was its purpose, and while he had absolutely no problem eating some delicious ice cream, he hated having to eat or drink something that was as cold as ice but had no taste at all.  
“I don’t want to drink it,” he finally said, knowing that he sounded like a little child. “I don’t like it if it doesn’t have any taste. Can’t you at least… mix it with some juice or something like that…?”  
**_~_**  
Hajime sat beside him, still holding onto the cool glass that his friend was refusing. “I know you dislike it, but sugar will only make your cough worse, Souji,” he said in an attempt to convince him to drink it. “If you drink half, then I will mix the rest.” He held the glass out, urging him to at least meet him halfway. “Once you’re hydrated, your fever should lower; then I can give you something with more flavor,” he said, sounding more like a concerned parent than a friend. “Like some fruits, or perhaps I can make you some tofu and rice.”   
“By the way, Souji, I know that we are both of the age where women may catch our gaze… but you should not be viewing those types of magazines,” he said, motioning towards the magazine on the floor. “I doubt Hijikata would approve of that behavior either.”  
**_~_**  
Souji pouted at him, but then took the glass. He still wasn’t feeling entirely healthy and strong, even though he felt well enough to play pranks on his best friend. “…only half of it,” he repeated before hurrying to get the cold liquid down his throat, his face distorted in pain and a kind of disgust.  
“Yes, Onii-chan,” he teased when Saitou started talking about the magazine, and at his friend’s questioning look, he explained, “I’d like to say _dad_ , but that’s already Hijikata-san. Now, what was that about giving me something with flavor? Hijikata-san said he left us something to eat and some money in case we want to order something. I’ll leave the choice to you. Besides…” His fists clenched around the sheets of Hijikata’s bed. “…thanks.”  
**_~_**  
He was relieved when Souji begrudgingly took the glass and agreed to drink half of the water. He took his friend’s comment in jest, knowing full well that he was just teasing him for being strict. However, with as easygoing as Souji was, somebody had to ensure that he was properly taking care of himself.  
  
“The magazine… belongs to Hijikata-san?” Hajime stuttered out, realizing what Souji was saying. He never would imagine his sensei owning a magazine like that, even though he was their senior.  
  
“Flavor? Uh, oh, yes, certainly, Souji,” he said, regaining his composure. Just as he was about to stand up, he noticed Souji clench his fists before thanking him. Hajime knew that his friend didn’t like being so helpless, so he shook his head profusely. “No need, I am just ensuring you rest so we can both attend the tournament,” he said, trying not to make a big deal out of this.  
  
“I find tofu flavorful, however, I don’t believe Hijikata-san is a fan,” he said aloud while heading towards the door. “If he doesn’t have anything acceptable I shall order you something.”  
  
He wasn’t surprised to find Hijikata’s fridge mostly empty except for some leftover pizza and spoiled milk. After a bit he returned back with some instant ramen, which was hardly healthy. He brought it to the room along with some soy sauce and red pepper in case he needed to add something too it. “If you can finish this, I’ll take the money and run and get something healthier, so you can regain your strength.”   
**_~_**  
Souji let out a sigh. “The tournament… right. I should be healthy… so I’m able to attend…” He doubted it, though. The day of the tournament was close and now of all times, his tuberculosis had to hit him so hard… it made his heart clench in fear. He didn’t want to have to die so young.  
When Saitou came back, Souji took the bowl of ramen from him, touching his best friend’s wrist a little longer than necessary.  
“You know I probably won’t make it,” he whispered quietly, but he was sure Saitou heard him anyways. “The tuberculosis won’t let me have that day the way I want when I’m in this state already.”  
Then he lifted his head, putting on his usual teasing smile again. “Yes, Hajime-kun, go and run; that’s good training!”  
**_~_**  
Hajime sat there and listened intensively as his friend spoke barely above a whisper. His stomach twisted in knots, refusing to accept that reality. This disease that was taking his friend away was cruel, and he couldn’t help but silently clench his free hand into a fist.

“I am not the one who needs training, however, Heisuke has been quite sloppy recently since you haven’t been there to keep him in line.” Perhaps he took his friend’s comment a bit too literally, based off the look of his face.

“Souji, we will fight against each other and you will beat me with your full strength,” he said reassuringly as if he could help his friend cheat death. “…and when you win if you cannot hold the trophy up because you are tired then I will help you.” His eyes stared straight into Souji’s, “You will be there… this I am sure of.”  
**_~_**  
Souji let out a shaking breath and nodded. “You’re right. How can I just let my guard down like this… of course I’ll be there; who cares about that stupid tuberculosis? Why should I let myself be defeated by a silly illness?”  
Hijikata wouldn’t see it that way, and he didn’t know if his teacher would allow him to attend the tournament if he was in a state similar to his current state. But he vowed himself to make sure to be there, for Saitou as well as for himself.  
He forced a smile on his lips and pushed Saitou over to the door slightly. “You wanted to go and get me some food, right? I’m hungry, and this instant ramen won’t do much against that. Don’t worry, I’ll be completely fine.”  
His voice shook a tiny bit, but he hoped Saitou wouldn’t notice that.  
**_~_**  
Hajime nodded, happy to hear that his friend was sounding more like himself. Souji was stubborn and always attained, whatever he worked towards. If he truly wanted to be there, Souji would find a way, and he would make sure of it as well.

As he felt the slight push on his arm, he saw the faint smile on Souji’s face. “If you say you will be fine, then I’ll go,” he said hesitantly while placing his cell phone on the bed. “But call me if you begin to feel ill.” He stood up slowly and turned towards the door. “I will return shortly. You prefer strawberry ice cream, right, Souji?”   
**_~_**  
“Ha~ji~me~kun,” Souji hummed, “how am I supposed to call you if you leave your cell phone here? Hijikata-san has a phone here too, you see? So take your cell phone with you.” At the mention of strawberry ice cream, his eyes lit up happily. “Yeah! That’s right. Thanks, Hajime-kun!”  
He watched his friend leave, then leaned over to the small table standing next to Hijikata’s bed, taking a book that was laying on it before starting to eat his ramen.  
“Well,” he mumbled, “it’s better than nothing, heh? And Hajime-kun will be back soon. With ice cream.”  
Only then he noticed a dull pain spreading in his head as well, but he just took it the exhaustion still wasn’t gone, so when he had eaten the ramen, he leaned back and closed his eyes.


	4. Chapter 4

As Hajime left Hijikata’s flat, he couldn’t help but feel distracted. Of course he needed his cellphone for Souji to call him. Perhaps the effect of his best friend’s illness was clouding his own mind as well.

He hurried off to a nearby convenience store and picked up juice boxes, fruit, and two pre-packed small meals. He looked over the freezer section and found the brand of ice cream Souji preferred. Happy that he had accomplished his mission, he headed back.   
  
He walked inside and carefully removed his shoes as he called out, “Souji, I’ll be in shortly.” Hajime went to work on an ice cream parfait for his friend, mixing the fresh fruit with ice cream and whipped cream. A small smile formed on his lips as he looked at the impressive dessert.  
  
Hajime picked it up and carried it into the room, “Souji, I have…. _Souji_?” As his friend came into sight, he was leaned up against the wall, looking paler than before and his eyes were shut. He quickly set down the ice cream on the table and moved in close to his friend. Hajime placed his hand on Souji’s forehead and it was still hot as a kettle.   
  
When his friend didn’t stir, he grew worried; had he fallen even more ill? Should he call Hijikata-san, or perhaps an ambulance? His eyes darted nervously back to him, Hajime’s voice shaking as he spoke, “Souji… are you asleep? You don’t look well. Please answer me. Souji… Souji?!”  
**_~_**  
A very nervous and worried voice was what made Souji wake up slowly. He had only been asleep, but the dull headache he remembered having felt before felt more intense now and when he opened his eyes, his vision was blurry and it took him a second more than usual to recognize Saitou.  
“Hajime-kun,” he murmured, “your hand is so nice and cold… my head hurts, and I don’t know why…”  
**_~_**  
When Souji spoke, it only offered a small bit of relief; he had gotten worse in just that short span of time he was gone. Guilt spread across his own face as he said, “Your fever has worsened, that… that must be why your head aches.”  
  
Not wanting to leave his side to get a cool cloth, he took the glass holding the ice cream parfait and pressed it against Souji’s forehead, “This will have to do for now. Does that feel any better?” His heart filled with concern over what he should do, and an overwhelming feeling of fear forming in his gut. Instead of getting better he seemed to be getting weaker and weaker. “Souji…” he said in a whisper, “I’m worried. Maybe I should call Hijikata-san… I don’t know what to do.”  
**_~_**  
A shiver ran down Souji’s spine when he felt the icily cold glass on his forehead, but then he let out a breath he didn’t knew he’d been holding, and relaxed slowly. “Hey… that’s my ice cream, isn’t it? I want to eat some…” Then he added, “…But it feels good, yeah. And…” He hesitated briefly, “…it’s not like _I_ knew what to do… as long as my inhaler is here, everything should be as fine as it can be right now, but of course you can call Hijikata-san, if that makes you feel better.”  
**_~_**  
“Oh yes, Souji, it is,” Hajime stuttered while pulling the glass away from his forehead. “I believe there are equal parts of the whip, ice cream, strawberry syrup, and fruit so therefore it should taste quite, flavorful.”   
  
“If after you finish your food your fever doesn’t start to lower, then I will call him,” he said. “I do not wish to make Hijikata-san worry, unnecessarily.” Rather, Saitou didn’t want him to feel the way that he did at the moment.   
  
He held the glass in his hand, then passed the spoon over to Souji, “Here, you should start to eat it before it melts.”  
**_~_**  
The intensity of Souji’s headache lessened a little as he ate his ice cream rather silently, but he doubted that his fever would have gone down by the time he finished it.  
He put the glass back onto the table standing next to the bed and leaned back. “How about my fever now, Hajime-kun?” he asked, almost teasingly, trying to get back to his usual self. “I’m feeling better.”  
He felt a little better, that was. But he still wasn’t feeling well enough.  
**_~_**  
Hajime placed his hand on Souji’s forehead and said, “Still warm, but some color returned to your skin.” Feeling a bit more relaxed now, he was able to release the tension in his back muscles. “If you are feeling better, perhaps we should study for the history exam since we will be expected to make it up when we return,” he said remembering that he had made study sheets the evening before for both of them. He knew Souji was unlikely to read the text on the Meiji restoration era, so at least the guide would ensure he had a foundation to take the exam.  
“Though, perhaps I should study and you should sleep? You still look quite exhausted, Souji.”  
**_~_**  
“Hm, maybe you’re right,” Souji agreed, smirking slightly. “But you’re no less exhausted than I am, right? Lay down here and get some rest as well~” He patted the mattress next to himself. “It’ll be fine, you’re good enough at school, and if you get sick because you worry so much, Hijikata-san will have to stay at home to care for the both of us–and you wouldn’t want that, would you?”  
**_~_**  
“You’re correct, I would not want to burden Hijikata-san,” he admitted. Souji was right, and he was quite exhausted as well. Hajime knew that his lack of sleep would likely impair his judgement; however, at the same time, he wondered if it would be all right to leave his friend unattended while he slept.

“Will you wake me if you feel ill or need something?” he asked hesitantly while sitting down on the other half of the large mattress. “I will rest better if you promise to stay in bed and relax as well.”  
**_~_**  
“Don’t worry, don’t worry, Hajime-kun. You’re laying directly next to me; even if I don’t wake you on my own, you’ll most likely notice, huh?” He laid back, closing his eyes, relaxing a little.  
He almost immediately fell asleep again, his body needed rest after all, but it wasn’t the relaxing sleep he had hoped for.

When Souji found himself in the world of his dream, he realized he was being chained to a rock and surrounded by flames–and really, really close, just a few millimeters out of his reach, lay Saitou, unconsciously.

“Hajime-kun, wake up,” he said nervously, “You need to get out of here. Hajime-kun… answer me… _Hajime-kun_!!!” he cried out desperately when the first flames reached his best friend’s clothes, but, chained as he was, he couldn’t do anything but to watch him burn to death. “NO!!!” he screamed, tears running down his face, trying to free himself from the chains until he gave up, sobbing. “Hajime-kun…”


	5. Chapter 5

Once Souji fell asleep peacefully, he was able to finally relax as well. Hajime didn’t realize exactly how tired he was until he fell asleep, letting the darkness ease his weary soul.

_Hajime-kun, wake up._

His eyes felt so heavy as he heard his name. Was he dreaming Souji calling for him?

_No… Hajime-kun!_

Why did he sound so sad, he was only sleeping, it wasn’t like something was…

Saitou’s eyes shot open and a gasp escaped his mouth as he looked over at Souji. His friend was sweating profusely, and seemingly in distress. His fever must have gotten worse, so he jumped out of bed and ran to get some cool water and a towel. Hajime placed the cool cloth on his face, gently wiping it all over in the hopes to cool Souji down.

“I’m here, Souji, please calm down,” he spoke while choking back his own feelings, “I’m right next to you, you’re dreaming, wake up.”  
**_~_**  
Souji nearly shot up into a sitting position when he felt the cold, wet cloth on his face. “Hajime–” He remained still when he realized his best friend was completely well–as well as he could be, worried as he was–and let out a shaking breath. “You’re fine… that’s good. Sorry, I’m really a mess these days. I… in my dream, you were burning and I couldn’t save you…”

He turned away and buried his face in a pillow. “I don’t want to be like this… I just want to be like everyone else. I don’t want to be destined to die in bed like this…” His voice came out more silent and muffled thanks to the pillow, but he didn’t care about that.

“…I’m just a burden to everyone. You all always have to care for me, and every time I want to do something for you, the tuberculosis…” His voice broke into a choked sobbing.  
**_~_**  
As Souji described his dream, it was no wonder that he was so agitated in his sleep. But if their places were switched in the dream, it would reflect exactly his Saitou felt right now. Chained. Helpless. Watching his friend suffer, and being unable to do anything. As Souji turned away in an emotional fit, the words were like a knife in his own gut.

“Okita Souji,” he said sternly, raising his voice slightly. “You are not, and never will be a burden on me or the others.” Saitou placed his hand on his friend’s shoulder. “I wish to never hear you say such foolish words again.”

He exhaled slowly, calming himself down. “Kondou-san and Hijikata-san taught all of us to cherish and help those around you. You are my family, Souji, so his Heisuke, and Hijikata-san, Chizuru-san…” Hajime swallowed hard to keep his own emotions inside, “I would do anything for all of you. So never, never think that I am burdened by that choice.”  
**_~_**  
Souji let out a shaking breath, his shoulders trembling beneath Saitou’s hand. “Hajime-kun… thanks…” He wiped away the tears that had made his pillow wet before turning back to his friend. “Hajime-kun… will you hug me until Hijikata-san comes back?”

Usually he wasn’t clingy, but right now he felt like he needed someone to hold him tight in order to be able to actually calm down.  
**_~_**  
He was hoping that he wasn’t too harsh with Souji, but he seemed to be finally starting to calm down a bit. Saitou couldn’t even begin to imagine what he was feeling right now, but he did know that he would continue to do everything within his power to help his friend.

Hajime didn’t question Souji’s request, he immediately shifted on the bed, placing his own back against the wall. As he felt Souji flop into him he wrapped his free arm around his body, “Is that good, you aren’t too warm are you? If you’d like I can hold the cloth on your forehead while you rest.”  
**_~_**  
“Yeah, that’d be nice… thanks,” Souji whispered.  
It had been so many years since someone had held him that way… and he had to admit, he really liked the way it felt.

He buried his face in Saitou’s chest and closed his eyes, enjoying the warmth. “I’m sure I’ll be fine now.”  
**_~_**  
A small smile formed on his face as Souji closed his eyes and said he would be fine. Hajime placed the cool cloth on his forehead, hoping the fever would break soon. “Rest easy,” he whispered.

Something about this almost felt familiar, as if he had watched his precious friend go through this before. Hajime looked down at Souji, who really was more like a brother to him. Perhaps that was why he felt such a strong desire to help him, and to see him stop suffering.

“I will always watch over you, Souji,” he spoke as his own eyes grey heavy, “I promise.”  
**_~_**  
This time, Souji didn’t have any dreams, and he only woke up when he heard a key turning in the door.

Hijikata entered the flat and the first thing he did was to take a look into his bedroom.  
Souji smiled at him sleepily, realizing that he felt pretty good right now.  
“Hi, Hijikata-san,” he whispered, careful to not wake Saitou up.  
“Souji, are you feeling better? Oh my god, you still feel hot…”  
“But I _am_ feeling better!” Souji pouted. “We had some… complications, it seems, but you can ask Hajime-kun about that when he’s awake.”  
**_~_**  
Hijikata let out an exasperated sigh, “I suppose if you at least feel bit better that’s an improvement.” To be honest he had been worried through the entire school day even though he knew that Saitou would call him if the need arose. He coughed slightly and went back to his _captain serious_ mode as he lectured, “…but that fever is still a big problem. If it doesn’t break by tomorrow I’m dragging you to Doctor Matsumoto.”

He was half tempted to drag the boy to the hospital, but he knew they likely wouldn’t do much other than give him an IV of fluids and force him to rest. There really was not much that could be done, so he would quietly bit his tongue and allow Souji to live the way he wanted to.

“If you’re feeling well enough, perhaps you should go take a shower; that might help to get your temperature down,” he said as he placed a bag next to the bed. “I stopped by your locker like you asked, so here’s your spare clothes.”

He looked over at Saitou who was sound asleep; if it wasn’t one it was the other that he had to look after. Hijikata grabbed a blanket from the end of the bed and set it over the boy. “He stayed up all night watching you, so let him sleep for a while longer,” Hijikata said quietly. “Call for me if you need anything. I’ll go reheat some dinner.”  
**_~_**  
Souji got out of the bed and walked over to the bathroom slowly. His vision was less blurry and his headache had lessened again as well, so right now he was almost positive he’d be fine soon.

After finishing his shower, he walked to the kitchen and looked inside shortly. “If dinner isn’t finished yet, I’ll go back to the bedroom and watch over Hajime-kun until you’re finished, okay?”

Hijikata agreed with a simple nod and Souji sat down on the bed, his hand briefly brushing through Saitou’s hair. “You see?” he whispered, “I’m gonna be fine. I already took a shower, isn’t that an improvement? Also, Hijikata-san said he’d drag me to the doctor if my fever isn’t gone tomorrow, so you don’t have to do anything right now. You can just… relax.”

And he wasn’t completely sure, but to him it seemed as if a little tension left Saitou’s body.


	6. Chapter 6

The scent of food slowly woke Hajime from his sleep. He still felt tired, but much less than before. His eyes blinked open and looked to his left, where Souji was sitting. “How long was I sleeping? Is Hijikata-san back?” he asked while rubbing his eyes. “Are you feeling any better? I hope you rested too…”

He raised his eyebrow when he noticed a smirk on his friend’s lips; a smirk that could only mean one thing. “S… Souji? Why do you have that look on your face… did you do something to…” He was about to say “Hijikata-san” when their teacher walked through the door.  
“Hey, food’s ready,” He said in his usual gruff tone, “You both should eat something so come on.”  
**_~_**  
Souji raised his eyebrows teasingly, “What do you think I did, Hajime-kun?”

Turning to Hijikata, he replied, “Good timing, I was getting hungry again. Sleeping is exhausting if you’re like me and I only had ice cream for lunch, so… and you didn’t eat anything, did you, Hajime-kun? You were too busy cooling my head with ice cream…”

He was thankful, but a little teasing just had to be there. In addition, Souji assumed the two of them would be relieved when he behaved a little more like his usual self.  
**_~_**  
Hajime was suspicious, usually that look of Souji’s meant he was up to no good. Though his pranks were harmless, he seemed to really enjoy firing up Hijikata-san the most. However, this sort of behavior would mean that he truly was feeling better, which was encouraging.

“You put ice cream on his head,” Hijikata said raising an eyebrow, “That’s a creative way to break a fever.”

“Well I did not place the ice cream directly on his head Hijikata-san, that would have made a terrible mess of your room once it started to melt and have been a waste of food,” Hajime explained, “the ice cream was in a glass, so I held the glass to his head when he said it felt pleasant.”

Hijikata shook his head, “You took that a bit too literally Saitou, never mind… The food’s on the table. I’m gonna go shower.” He gave them a slight wave then headed back into the hall.

“I am hungry since I only had a banana on the way back from the store,” he nodded before crawling out of the bed. “I’m glad you’re hungry as well, that means you’ll get your strength back soon.” He walked out into the main room and sat at the table where Hijikata had laid out two readymade yakisoba dinners. Just as he broke apart the disposable chopsticks he heard Hijikata growl from the next room.

“SOUJIIIIII!!!”

“Nani?” Hajime said while looking at his friend across the table.  
**_~_**  
“Itadakimasu,” Souji smiled and started eating, ignoring Hijikata and Saitou at first, but when Saitou didn’t turn his glance away, he looked up from his meal. “Okay, maybe I did something. Maybe the tiles are a little slippery because of the soap I spread there. How should I know he was going to take a shower?” he acted surprised. “I just wanted to clean the floor.”  
**_~_**  
Hajime blinked for a moment as Souji explained what he did to enrage Hijikata. He considered leaving the table to check on him, but decided against it in order to let him cool down a bit.

“Well I suppose he shouldn’t be too mad, you did clean up after all,” he said before taking a sip of tea. “At least that isn’t as bad as the time you decided Heisuke’s school uniform needed to air dry on the school roof,” he recalled from two weeks ago.

Once he finished his meal Hijikata walked out in sweats with a towel draped around his shoulders. It was unusual as he chose not to yell at Souji, and instead shot him the “I know it was you” glare. He then walked over and felt the boy’s forehead and frowned, “You seem warmer than before. How are you feeling, and give me the truth…I know when you’re lying.”  
**_~_**  
Souji at first gave Hijikata an innocent glance, but when the hand touched his forehead, he winced slightly. “I…”  
He knew Hijikata would be able to tell if he lied, so he decided to tell the truth right away.

“I thought I felt better, but by now, my chest and throat hurt again. Maybe that’s causing my temperature to go higher…”  
As if to support his words, he started to cough a little–not very much, and he didn’t cough up blood yet, but it already was painful enough.  
**_~_**  
Hijikata’s face remained emotionless as he picked up the phone and walked out of the room. Both boys knew what he was doing before Hijikata even spoke a word, he was calling the doctor. For him to call the doctor at this time of night, Saitou knew this wasn’t particularly good. A high fever for over twenty-four hours, a painful cough…and all the medicine did was suppress his cough for a few hours.

He thought his friend was improving, that they would return to class together in another day or two…but right now that didn’t seem likely. He thought for a few moments, wondering what Yukimura would do right now. She’d likely dote over Souji, but she also was always able to make people feel better. Hajime didn’t think he had that effect on others.

Perhaps all he could do was just be there and offer a distraction, as helpless as that felt. He stood up and cleaned off the table and said, “Would you like something else Souji? I did buy Pineapple Juice, and I think some dragon fruit as well.” He paused for a moment then continued, “I can put on a movie, though I’m not sure what Hijikata’s taste in films is.”  
**_~_**  
When Saitou walked past him on his way back to the table, Souji grabbed his wrist. “I can see it in your eyes,” he said seriously–a side effect of being best friends with Saitou for years. “You think you’re not helping me enough, aren’t you? But you’re helping me more than anyone else could. You’re helping me more than even Chizuru could, and you know how hard she’s always trying. I mean, she’d probably do the same things as you’re doing, but when you do something… when you talk to me… that’s reassuring.”

Then, he got up and walked over to the living room. “A film would be nice, wouldn’t it? I’m sure even Hijikata-san has some great adult action movies. And… yeah, let’s have some pineapple juice and dragon fruit. I’m so happy you remembered how much I love those!”

This time, he was completely honest–there wasn’t the slightest hint of teasing in his voice.


	7. Chapter 7

Hajime wondered if his face was too obvious, but perhaps it was just that they had known each other for a very long time. “Arigatou, Souji,” he said with a very faint smile. He nodded and walked over to the fridge, pouring two classes of juice before cutting up the dragon fruit.

When he arrived back in the living room there was already a film on which he immediately recognized. “Shi-jū-shichi-shi,” he said with a hint of surprise that he picked an old black and white film. Hajime sat down on the couch and handed the glass of juice to Souji before setting the fruit on the table.

Hijikata rejoined them and flopped down on the chair, putting his feet up on the table. He released a sigh of exhaustion and said, “Dr. Matsumoto is coming by in about an hour, He’s insisting on checking you out.” He stared at the TV, a sense of weariness in his face. “Heh, don’t tell Kondou-san you found this DVD,” he smirked in an attempt to hide something, “I still haven’t returned it to him after I borrowed it four years ago.”  
**_~_**  
Souji nodded at the mention of the doctor before smirking, “Wow, do you like this film so much? Or did you just forget to return it? But well, on the other hand Kondou-san hasn’t realized it… has he?”

He took a sip from his juice and sighed contently. “Ah… this feels good. So delicious, and it’s cooling my throat…”  
**_~_**  
“Perhaps a bit of both,” he chuckled while stealing a piece of fruit from the table, “Oh and he hasn’t forgotten - but he’s too nice to complain.” Kondou was an excellent kendo instructor, and a fantastic principal for the school… however, he always had a soft spot. Though it was his kindness that was the reason he didn’t mind being the cold, demon teacher. He rested for a few minutes watching the movie before pulling out his briefcase to begin catching up on his grading.

Saitou nodded and said, “The pineapple juice is quite delicious, I am glad you like it.” He remembered that Souji always hated anything bitter or sour. He was hoping to find some watermelon since that was his favorite, but unfortunately it was out of season right now. They sat there and watched the film, and soon there was a knock on the door.

Hijikata got up and let Dr. Matsumoto in He bowed to the group politely and said, “Okita, let’s go to the other room and I’ll check you over.” Saitou stayed on the couch, choosing to leave his friend alone with the doctor. He just hoped that everything would be fine whenever they returned.   
**_~_**  
Souji let out a quiet sigh, knowing he had to deal with the doctor alone, although he hated that.

He sat down on the bed, taking off his shirt so Dr. Matsumoto would be able to check everything properly.

“How much did Hijikata-san tell you?” he asked, hoping he didn’t show too much how much he disliked being examined.

“I’d like you to tell me everything from your point of view,” Dr. Matsumoto replied.

“Well… yesterday I had a particularly strong cough attack after my kendo training. Apparently I lost my inhaler somewhere, and… I guess I wouldn’t have made it until now if Hajime-kun hadn’t found me. Anyways, Hijikata-san then brought my second inhaler, and I lost consciousness after that. They brought me here… and when I woke up, I thought I was feeling better, but I got a really bad headache then which still isn’t gone now… and about an hour ago, my throat and chest started to hurt again.”

He closed his eyes briefly before looking at the doctor intensely, “It’s looking bad, isn’t it? I promised Hajime-kun I’d be fine until the day our kendo tournament takes place, and I’m going to be there participating no matter if I’m well or not, though–and if it’s the last thing I do. It hurts, but I won’t let it stop me if it comes to Hajime-kun. Just tell me the truth and what I can do to be able to participate in the tournament.”  
**_~_**  
Dr. Matsumoto nodded slowly, “It sounds like you are entering the end stage; I’m sorry, Okita.” He exhaled slowly and continued, “I can prescribe you some antibiotics and steroids, but the fatigue will begin to get much worse… as well as the frequency of your coughing fits.”

“Rest will be key to reducing the fatigue and slowing its progression. And I mean real rest… as in staying in bed and sleeping,” he said, trying to be stern enough to show how important this was. “As for practicing beforehand, I would limit yourself to short bursts spread out throughout the week… no longer than 20 minutes.”

“I wish I had better news for you, but the medicines seem to have lost their effectiveness, and your inhaler is already at the highest concentration.” He waited a few moments to let his words sink in before asking, “I have no obligation to tell Hijikata-san, however, if you prefer me to explain this to him for you, please let me know.”  
**_~_**  
Souji let out a shaking breath. “I… thought so… it’s fine, I’ll explain it to him. But I have one more question… how much time do I have left? And–I assume if I go to school is basically left for me to decide, right?”  
**_~_**  
Dr. Matsumoto nodded and said, "If you are feeling well I’d suggest doing half days at school, I’m certain that could be arranged.” The suggestion was more so to give him some sense of normalcy, and allow him to see his friends. It was hard seeing someone so young with this sort of prognosis.

“I will leave you my information, so please don’t hesitate to call me if anything changes,” he said while handing him a card. He patted his hand on the boy’s shoulder and turned to leave the room.

While Hijikata showed the doctor to the door Hajime sat there quietly on the couch. He couldn’t shake a feeling of nervousness that was building inside, but he remained composed. His emotions came second, right now Souji came first.  
**_~_**  
“Yes, I’ll call you of something happens.” Souji took the card and bowed politely, his shoulders slumping down when he was alone in the room. He put his shirt back on and walked back into the living room where Saitou sat, looking up nervously when he entered the room.

Souji’s heart clenched painfully at the thought of his best friend probably having to watch him die.

“Hajime-kun,” he said quietly, sitting down. “Let’s wait for Hijikata-san, then I only have to say it once.”


	8. Chapter 8

Hajime watched as his friend walked into the room and sat down on the couch. Souji could have said nothing and he would know that whatever the doctor said wasn’t good, especially if he only wanted to say it once. Unsure of what to do, he nodded softly, then he passed over his glass of juice.

Hijikata walked back into the room and hesitated for a moment before moving to sit on his chair. There was an awkward silence, which only lasted a few seconds, but felt like an eternity.

“Souji, other than the new prescriptions, what did he recommend?” Hijikata asked. He wasn’t going to force him to say the words that they knew were coming; that would be the boy’s choice.  
**_~_**  
“I’m entering the end stage,” Souji said, taking his glass.

He didn’t even try to put any false emotions into his voice because he knew he couldn’t fool Hijikata and Saitou.

“He said if I wanted to be able to participate in the tournament, I’d have to rest a lot. If it comes to training, he told me to only do short bursts of about 20 minutes throughout the week. And he also said there’s nothing more we can do except for slowing down the progress a little. My inhaler already is at the highest concentration. And if I feel well, I can go to school for about half a day or something like that. But I’m sure nothing will really help, anyways. I guess it’ll be over soon after the tournament…”

He sighed, lowering his head a little as if to acknowledge his fate. His eyes burnt as if he was about to cry endlessly, but no tears were coming, and his free hand clenched to a fist.  
**_~_**  
“Dammit,” Hijikata muttered at a low volume as his hands clutched the arms of the chair, it looked as if he could break them off. In fact, if he wasn’t in the presence of Saitou and Okita he would have likely punched his fist through the drywall. “This isn’t fair,” he muttered to himself. The boy was too young to get that sort of news.

Saitou sat there, unable to say a word; all he could do was reach over and place his hand on his friend’s forearm. His stomach was in knots, and his mind repeated _I’m entering the end stage_ over and over again. The end stage. As far as he knew, 48 hours ago his best friend was fine, now his friend was dying. It was a tough thought to swallow, but he couldn’t even begin to understand how Souji felt.

“What… what do you want to do,” Hajime asked as he tried to hold himself together, “you don’t have to decide now… but whatever you want, I’ll do.” To him, the tournament no longer mattered, he just wanted to spend the most time possible with Souji—and he wanted Souji to enjoy what time he had left.  
**_~_**  
Souji grasped Saitou’s wrist and pulled him into a tight hug as if Saitou was the one destined to die and not himself.

“It’s fine,” he said, his voice shaking. “Fate isn’t always fair, is it? You don’t have to do anything, Hajime-kun. Just be there just like you always are, and let’s participate in the tournament together. I promised, didn’t I? To participate together with you. So now I can’t break that promise. It’ll be okay then. I’ll be fine.”

Swallowing heavily, he added, “It’s not like I’ll be gone tomorrow anyways. There’s still plenty of time left.”  
**_~_**  
Hijikata stood up silently and walked out of the room, leaving to two boys alone. He stepped out onto the small balcony of his bedroom, taking in the cool autumn air. He silently lit up a cigarette, exhaling the smoke slowly. Right now that was the only thing he could do to keep himself from showing his own pain to the others. He was their instructor, their guardian, their family… If anyone had to put on a brave face it was him.  
**_~  
_** Hajime felt Souji pull him into a tight grasp, his face being buried in his friend’s shoulder. Unfortunately, the only comfort he received from this was knowing that Souji wasn’t going to give up, he would live his way until the end, just like how he said the other day. He nodded his head in acknowledgement and said, “I… I know.”

However, the truth was that there was no way to know if Souji would be able to make it to the tournament, let alone participate. So he made a silent promise to himself; If Souji couldn’t participate in the tournament then he would fight in his place. Out of all his school mates it was Souji that he looked up to the most, and he deserved to be recognized for his kendo skills that he worked so hard to refine.

Once his friend let go Hajime realized that Hijikata had left. He knew that their senior was just as upset, but he always seemed to try and deal with that burden on his own. “Souji, perhaps you should say something to Hijikata-san,” he suggested quietly, “He may need some encouragement as well.”  
**_~_**  
“Fine, I’ll be back soon.” Souji got up and followed his teacher slowly.

Outside on the balcony, he leaned onto the railing, looking up to the dark sky.

“You should stop smoking, Hijikata-san,” he said, smirking just a little. “It’s bad for your lungs. Though I guess I’m not really in a position to tell you what’s healthy and what isn’t.”

He remained quiet a little longer before saying, “You know, even if you’re our teacher, you don’t have to be a perfect example. You playing the brave, strong guy will just worry me and Hajime-kun more–especially now that I’m probably gonna stay here. I mean, there’s no way you’d let me go back to my flat where I’d have to live completely on my own, is there?”  
**_~_**  
Hijikata stood quietly as Souji stepped outside and started telling him to quit smoking. “Of course you’re staying here, I can’t let you live alone when you’re… sick,” He said coarsely before smothering his cigarette out. “And I’m fine, I came out here so that you wouldn’t be around the smoke.”

“Besides it’s my job to look after you, Saitou, Heisuke, and the others. Remember I’m the adult around here,” he said casually, “…and just maybe in some cases I do it because I want to.” He wouldn’t admit it out loud, but Souji was one of those exceptions. Hijikata let out a long sigh and said, “I’m guessing you still don’t want the others to know… including Kondou?”  
**_~_**  
“…I’m not saying this because I’m worried the smoke might worsen my condition, you know.” Souji sighed as well. “Also, the job thing… even if it’s your job, it’s fine to let your feelings out sometimes.—You’re right, I don’t want them to know, but you and Hajime-kun might have difficulties explaining what happened to me when I’m suddenly… gone. I mean, I know it’ll happen while I’m still attending this school, so of course the others will notice. I don’t like it, but maybe telling them is better than keeping it a secret, don’t you think?”  
**_~_**  
Hijikata purposely ignored the comments about showing his feelings. It just wasn’t him; he’d deal with this in his own way when he was ready. As the boy answered his question about telling the others, he listened attentively.

“My thoughts are—it would be harder on them to find out after the fact,” he said, “but once it’s said, there’s no turning back.” Hijikata said, “You don’t have to tell the other students, but at least Kondou should know; or rather, he deserves to know.”

“He always looked at you like you were his own son,” he spoke softly, “I know he would understand if you didn’t want to tell him, but he would also be heartbroken that you weren’t honest with him.”   
**_~_**  
Souji bit down on his lip, his fingers wandering over to Hijikata’s hair to play with it slightly. “I know. Why are teachers always right? …I guess I’ll just tell everyone–that means, Heisuke and the others; not all the students–myself, but… if you don’t mind… I’d like to have you with me when I tell Kondou-san.”

He knew this wasn’t like himself, but on the other hand, he felt like the past day had made him a completely different person.


	9. Chapter 9

Hijikata rested his hand on Souji’s shoulder as he nodded, “I can do that, you just tell me when.” The good-natured, but snot-nosed brat was definitely acting different – but that was to be expected. Being told that you are dying has that effect on people. He just hoped the boy wouldn’t let it change himself too much.

“I know it probably feels good out here but you should go inside,” Hijikata said a bit more warmly. “Besides you should get some rest. I won’t let you go to school tomorrow, but I’ll pick you up before kendo club so you can at least see everyone.”  
**_~_**  
“Thanks,” Souji mumbled quietly, his body almost arching into Hijikata’s touch.

After having slept in the same bed as Saitou, being held by his best friend, he almost wished there would always be someone to touch him in this reassuring way.

He followed Hijikata inside.

“Hajime-kun, I’ll be going to bed now. Will you… well…” He stared to the ground in slight embarrassment. “Can you hold me again? I… liked that.”  
**_~_**  
While Souji and Hijikata were outside, Hajime went back to his studies. He looked up from his history book when he recognized the sound of feet shuffling in. “Certainly,” he said with an assuring nod before closing his textbook and walking back to Hijikata’s bedroom.

Since he was already wearing his evening sweats, he crawled into bed. Hajime lied down on the bed, keeping his right arm spread across the second half of the mattress. Without saying a single word, he wrapped that arm around Souji, letting him rest his head on his chest.

The only light in the room was the moonlight that snuck through the curtains, but he hoped it was enough to hide the fact that his eyes were wet. He gripped his friend a little tighter as he selfishly prayed that Souji wouldn’t leave him soon.  
**_~_**  
Souji buried his face on Saitou’s chest and a shiver ran down his spine when his best friend pulled him even closer. “Thanks,” he whispered barely audible, a single tear running down his cheek and he knew Saitou could feel it.

Then, he fell asleep.  
– –  
When Souji woke up, he found his arms and legs tangled up with Saitou’s–but that was only his first impression before a painful cough attack erupted from his throat and he tried to fight it down a little so he could take his inhaler from the small table next to the bed.

Instead of being able to take the inhaler, he ended up laying on top of his best friend, coughing more or less violently, his eyes squeezed shut.  
**_~_**  
Hajime had slept remarkably well, though likely the emotional exhaustion was taking a toll. He awoke abruptly to the sound of coughing, and much to his surprise Souji was on top of him. “Hold on,” he said as he quickly reached over and grabbed his inhaler, placing it in front of Souji’s lips, ready to hit the top button.  
**_~_**  
Souji took two deep breaths from the inhaler placed between his lips in relief and slumped back onto the mattress. “Thanks… sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you up like that. We, uh, can go back to sleep if you want to…” he suggested slowly. “Or are you planning on going to school normally?”  
**_~_**  
Hajime exhaled slowly, thankful that Souji’s cough had subsided. “No need to be sorry,” he said while his friend collapsed on the mattress, “I should be fine, but you should rest at least for a bit longer.” He reached over and checked his temperature, which the fever had seemed to have diminished a bit.

“I will make up my schoolwork here, Hijikata was kind enough to bring it for me,” he said while motioning to the pile of books and the laptop on the floor, “and Nagakura-san will take over my math tutoring this afternoon in the library.”  
While the man was often gambling or out at a bar, he still knew his subject matter and would be able to tutor his classmates with ease. Hajime couldn’t take credit for this though, Hijikata had done the hard work for him. This way he could watch over Souji while still keeping up his own studies.

He pulled the covers up over Souji’s body, then pat him on the head, “Rest well so you can come with me to Kendo today. You can’t practice, but Heisuke could really use some instruction, as could I.”  
**_~_**  
“I can’t practice? Mou, I was looking forward to it,” Souji pouted, but he knew it was probably better this way. “Well, I’ll come, anyways. The others will be worried about us after we haven’t shown up at school yesterday. Ah, and maybe we should tell some of the teachers, too… I’d rather keep it a secret from Itou-sensei, but I think some of the others should know it, don’t you think?”

He just assumed Saitou would know who he was talking about.

He smirked. “Sano-san and Shinpachi-san will learn about it from Heisuke, anyways, I guess.”  
**_~_**  
Hajime nodded and said, “Hijikata-san mentioned Kondou-san would be leading practice today, so Harada-san and Nagakura-san will probably be there as well.”

He put his hand up to his chin in thought and said, “It’s rare that Kondou-san leads practice, so maybe you can still join us for a bit.” For a rare instant a small smile was on his lips before he continued, “If you feel like it let me know, I’ll ensure Hijikata-san doesn’t stop you.”  He would never go against Hijikata-san; however, this was one instance where he would.  
**_~_**  
Souji’s eyes lit up, “He will? Then I definitely want to join you! I… need to show him that I’m fine, after all. And to make sure he won’t stop me from participating in the tournament. I want to make him proud before _that_ happens.”

He slid a little deeper under the blanket Saitou had pulled over him and looked up to his best friend, “Wake me up when you get to your English studies. I haven’t understood the newest topic that well, so I’d like you to explain it to me again. For now…” He took a deep breath before calling out, “Hijikata-san, I’m hungry!!!”  
**_~_**  
Hijikata sleepily walked into the room with his coffee in hand and his tie still not knotted. He tossed an orange over towards them which Hajime instantly caught. “I’ve gotta run to school, but that will do for now. Saitou, you know where everything’s at,” he said letting out a yawn before turning around and walking away.  
**_~_**  
Hajime peeled the orange and handed a few slices over, “If you would like something else please let me know…though I think we have lunch food in the fridge rather than breakfast.”  
**_~_**  
“It’s fine, it’s fine,” Souji chuckled, “I just wanted to tease the both of you a little. I’m not _that_ hungry, actually. Ah, Hijikata-san, enjoy school without me!” he then called after their teacher, taking the slices of the orange and eating them one after another.

“Let’s just have something for lunch later. After you’ve explained the English stuff to me, maybe.”

With those words, he ate his last piece of the orange and said, “I’m gonna sleep a little more. Have fun with your studies, Hajime-kun.”


	10. Chapter 10

Hajime tied the belt of his hakama, then proceeded to the training hall where everyone was gathering. Hijikata had brought him and Souji to practice, and their arrival seemed to excite the others. He politely bowed to everyone and took his place on the floor between his best friend and Heisuke. Harada, Nagakura, and Hijikata all stood there chatting until Kondou entered the room.

“Souji, it’s nice to see you could join us today,” Kondou smiled before turning to the group. “Let’s get started.  I want you all to proceed with 30 Suburi then 30 Haya-Suburi,” he instructed, “that should be a warm up, and then we can do some sparring; I want to focus on critiquing your techniques, so you have time to make adjustments before the tournament.”

After everyone gave synchronous nods, the entire group proceeded with the usual warm ups. Saitou made sure to keep his pace with the rest of the class, but he also kept an eye on Souji to make sure he was feeling all right. He truly hoped that his friend would be able to make it through practice, especially since Kondou-san was there.  
**_~_**  
At the beginning it wasn’t hard for Souji to keep up with the others, but he also remembered Dr. Matsumoto’s 20 minutes rule, knowing that if he didn’t follow those instructions, his condition would worsen more rapidly.

He silently decided to double the time he was allowed to practice only for today since he was feeling well, and he only breathed a little heavier after those 40 minutes.

Sighing, he sat down and waved at everyone. “I’m finished for today.”

“What?” Heisuke asked. “Not even half of our practice time has passed! You’re never like this. I mean, I know you’re good, but you always stay and practice with everyone until it’s over.”

“…yeah, but I already practiced twice as long as Dr. Matsumoto allowed me to.” Souji looked up to Saitou briefly. “There’s something I need to tell you all. You too, Kondou-san. …I’m seriously ill… I have tuberculosis.”  
**_~_**  
The room went silent, the only sound to be heard was their heavy breathing. Shock spread against their faces as mixed emotions built in their eyes.

“Souji… gomen,” Heisuke said while lowering his head in embarrassment for saying what he just had.  
Harada put his hand on Heisuke’s shoulder saying, “Heisuke, it’s fine. You didn’t know… none of us did till now.”  
Nagakura stood there silent, his hands slightly shaking as he held the wooden practice sword.

Kondou said nothing as he walked over to Souji, kneeling on the floor. He pulled Souji into a hug, tightly grasping the back of the uniform. “Souji. I knew there must have been a reason you were missing so much school, but this, I never expected,” he said quietly to the boy who was practically his own son. He fought back his wet eyes as he said, “You’ve been practicing with this… you are such a stubborn boy… but that’s what I love most about you.” His voice grew into a shaking whisper, “I know you’ll fight hard, and we’ll fight with you.”  
**_~_**  
Souji rested his chin on Kondou’s shoulder, clenching his hands to fists. “Of course I have. There’s no way I’d let this stop me from doing what I live for. Sorry that I only told Hijikata-san, but I didn’t want to worry any of you. I even told Hajime-kun about it just yesterday… you should thank him, by the way. If he hadn’t found me, I wouldn’t be here now.”

Then he got up slowly. “I’m gonna change; you just continue your practice, okay? Hajime-kun, we’ll meet later in Hijikata-san’s flat. I’ll probably come to school tomorrow.”

Back in the boys’ changing room, he let himself fall onto one of the benches, leaning back against the cooling wall.

It had been good to see them again, but his heart had cracked a tiny bit when he’d seen their shocked faces.

“…sorry,” he whispered barely audible.  
**_~_**  
The news of Souji’s illness had silenced practice, but Kondou insisted they’d continue. Some seemed less focused, while Hajime became more focused. His strikes where clean, pure from any emotion other than a desire to be just as strong as Souji was.

Hijikata stayed behind to talk with the others after practice, but Hajime decided to walk back alone. Along the way he stopped and picked up some fruity popsicles, thinking that his friend likely needed to rehydrate after practicing for longer than he should have. He entered the flat and said, “I’m back, Souji, would you like a snack?”  
**_~_**  
Souji looked up from the book he had been reading. “Oh, you’re back, Hajime-kun… a snack wouldn’t be too bad, thanks.”

He ate his popsicle quietly and when he was finished, he mumbled, “I didn’t want to tell them. Did you see their faces? I wish I could just tell them it was all a joke.”

Then, he sighed heavily. “But it’s okay. I still have a lot of time left, after all.”  
**_~_**  
“Hijikata-san,” Heisuke asked after practice, “did you know about Souji’s illness before? Why did you keep it a secret?”  


**_~_**  
Hajime looked up from his book as Souji spoke quietly. After setting it on the table, he put his hand on his friend’s shoulder, “Souji, you are just as much their friend as you are mine. Of course they’d be upset.” But he was glad that he told them, now Hijikata-san had someone to share his feelings with instead of keeping it in. “To be honest, it was hard for me to hear again out loud,” he mumbled, “I still don’t want to believe it.”

He perked back up and said, “But at least now you can talk to the others about it if you wish, in case you tire of me.”  
**_~_**  
Heisuke’s words struck Hijikata hard, and his face showed it. He shouldn’t have kept quiet, but he just wanted to follow the boy’s request. It wasn’t fair and they deserved to react this way, but he wasn’t quite sure how to say that.

“Todou-kun,” Kondou said in a painfully stern tone while putting away their practice bamboo swords, “Toshi had his reasons for not saying anything, so don’t question them. You know how Souji is…this shouldn’t come as a surprise.” He didn’t blame anyone but himself right now, after all how could he not have noticed this?

“We’re here to help, Hijikata, so just ask,” Harada said before looking back at Heisuke, “Kondou’s right, but we should be thankful that Souji decided to tell us. It all makes sense now why he was missing so much school.”

Heisuke clenched his fists and closed his eyes, “No, it’s not okay. He was being selfish not telling us. I’m so mad at him.” He seemed so irritated, but also as if he was on the verge of crying.  
“Heisuke, I think you’re mad at what’s happening to him,” Nagakura corrected, “remember; we can’t be selfish either. Souji is the one suffering the most after all.”  
**_~_**  
Souji turned around to Saitou, smiling half reassuringly and half mockingly. “Why do you think I’d get tired of you? You’re my best friend. Who would get tired of their best friend? You just should promise you won’t suddenly leave me.”  
**_~_**  
“I know, but…” Heisuke sighed heavily. “Isn’t that just damn unfair?! Why are you all… you seem as if you accepted it easily! How can you–”

He stopped talking immediately and gasped in shock when he felt a sharp sting on his left cheek and his head flew to the right.

“I know you’re worried! But don’t try to make us the guilty ones!”

“Sano!” Nagakura called out and grabbed his best friend’s wrist. “You’re a teacher! You can’t hit a student!”

Harada perked back and sighed. “…sorry. But, you see, Heisuke–it’s hard for all of us!”

“…yeah.”  
**_~_**  
“I would never leave you Souji,” Hajime said quickly, a small blush forming on his cheeks, “I mean… leave you as a friend… not... the other way, you know.” He looked over and explained, “I just worry about you quite a bit, which may prove to be tiresome. But it’s because you are precious to me.”

“The others are my friends too, but you,” he said, “You were the first one who accepted me as who I am… I could never leave you. That’s unthinkable.”  
**_~_**  
Hijikata was shocked at what Harada had done, but in a way it snapped some sense back into the young boy. “I don’t accept it, but I’m being forced to,” he said gruffly, “Yes, I’ve carried this weight for a while, but I did it for him.” Hijikata tensed up and continued, “He just wanted to live his life normally. I can’t blame him for that. Once you know… everything changes.”

Nagakura leaned in to Heisuke and said, “Hijikata and Kondou have to be there for both Souji and all of us… just keep that in mind.”  
Harada nodded and said, “…speaking of which, you can go to Kondou… Shin and I can handle things here.”

Hijikata’s face showed his broken emotions as he nodded slightly, and slunk off towards where Kondou was sitting outside.  
**_~_**  
Souji nodded. He’d known that already, but hearing it again was reassuring and helped him to accept his current situation better. “Thanks. I guess… I’d be nothing if you weren’t there, so I’m glad to have accepted you, you know?”  
A silent chuckle left his lips as he praised himself that way.  
**_~_**  
“Sano-san, Shinpachi-san,” Heisuke said slowly, wiping over his eyes, “I know you don’t approve of it, especially since you’re my teachers and I’m not an adult yet, but I think I need to go and drink with you today.”

The two teachers looked at each other briefly before Nagakura patted Heisuke’s shoulder. “Just once, Heisuke. Just this once.”


	11. Chapter 11

Hajime felt the warmth in Souji’s words and smiled momentarily before turning back to his schoolwork, “So since you are going to class tomorrow, I should tutor you in case there is a quiz.” He knew a quiz didn’t matter, but at least it was something for them to focus on until Hijikata returned.  
**_~_**  
Hijikata slowly walked back to his flat after spending nearly two hours with Kondou. Instead of he helping his mentor and friend, it was Kondou who helped him. He felt a bit more at ease now, and returned to his apartment with food and a renewed look on his face.

He opened the door to find both boys sitting and studying on the couch, making him feel even more relieved. “Hey, food’s here… I picked up some sushi to-go,” he said while setting the bag down on the table. “I also picked up the medicine Dr. Matsumoto prescribed as well.”  
**_~_**  
Souji almost immediately jumped to his feet. “Food! I’m so hungry, I could die any minute!”

Then he realized what he had said and smirked sadly. “I guess dying isn’t a topic for jokes anymore, is it? Of course I’m _not_ dying.”

He sat down at the table. “Mh, I haven’t had sushi in an eternity. Can you read my mind, Hijikata-san?”  
**_~_**  
Saitou stood up and saw the instant look of surprise on Hijikata’s face for a moment as Souji joked about dying. Nobody wanted to hear those words right now, even if it was a slip of the tongue.

As they all sat down together, Hijikata ripped open a pack of soy sauce with his teeth, then answered, “No, if I could then I’d be able to avoid your pranks.”  
Hajime smirked a bit and relaxed, grabbing a package of sushi for himself. “Hijikata-san, you know, it may be beneficial if we cook here in the future,” he suggested

The man raised an eyebrow and said, “Do you not like take-out, Saitou?”  
The purple haired boy quickly shook his head as he answered, “No it’s just… tofu is lacking in my meals recently.”  
Hijikata shrugged, “Well, I can pick some up next time from the mart.”

Saitou once again shook his head, “I prefer to prepare it myself. Convenience mart tofu is… well… watery.”  
**_~_**  
Souji threw his head back as laughter erupted from his throat when he heard this conversation.

Of course this just had to happen; talking to Saitou nearly always ended with tofu, and it just felt wonderful to have a conversation like this which left an almost family-like feeling.

Feeling Hijikata and Saitou’s confused glances on himself, he stopped laughing and explained, “Sorry, it’s just too good to hear you talk like that. It reminds me of the time when everything was still fine and I didn’t have to be scared of dying every time I started coughing.”  
**_~_**  
“Souji, stop saying the d-word, all right?” Hijikata said with almost an annoyed growl. After getting a glare form Saitou as he held his chopsticks tersely in his fingers, Hijikata softened his tone. “I’m… we’ll try to make things as normal as they can be, Souji.”

Hajime nodded, easing the grip on his chopsticks as everyone then focused on eating quietly for a few moments. “Hijikata-san,” he interrupted after finishing the last of his tuna roll, “…about that tofu. It’s fine if I pick some up on my way home tomorrow, correct? I could use some proper protein.”

Hijikata smirked and glanced at both of them, “Yeah, yeah, just make sure to get something mister picky eater will like too.”  
**_~_**  
Souji rolled his eyes, “That wasn’t a joke. You just said you didn’t want to hear me joke about it.”

But he picked up his chopsticks and ate quietly for a few minutes until Hijikata mentioned that he was a picky eater.

“Hey, I’m not _that_ picky, Hijikata-san. I just–”

His throat didn’t give him any kind of warning like, for example, starting to hurt beforehand, and he suddenly started coughing again, one hand pressed to his mouth firmly.  
**_~_**  
Both Hajime and Hijikata each dropped their chopsticks; while Hijikata ran to get the inhaler, Hajime moved to Souji’s side of the table and held onto his shoulders as he violently began to cough. Their teacher ran back in and handed Souji the inhaler, watching him with concern until he finished.

“Souji, I’m sorry,” Hijikata said while kneeling at his side, “Do you need anything?” Hajime stood there worried as well as he noted, “perhaps you should take your medicine? Your fever seems to be back.”  
**_~_**  
Souji took a deep breath from the inhaler, then a second one, and finally, his coughing subsided.

“Don’t be sorry… is it your fault I’m sick?” he asked and gave the reply himself, “It isn’t. But… yeah, maybe I should take my medicine…”

He rested his forehead on his arms for a moment. “Whoa, my head is hot enough to cook something on it. And I’m d–eh, I’m really tired. Maybe… I should stay here tomorrow, after all.”  
**_~_**  
Hajime walked over and picked up two pills, one from each bottle and brought them over with another glass of cold juice. “Here you go Souji,” he said, “Perhaps this will help with the fever.”  
**_~_**  
Hijikata knew it wasn’t his fault, but he still felt bad. “How about we see how you are in the morning, maybe the medicine will help. If not, I’ll stay here so Saitou can go to school… I’ll just get Itou-san to cover my class, he’s only teaching art electives anyway.”  
**_~_**  
Souji’s head shot up, “But you’re a teacher, and the substitute headmaster! Should you really… okay,” he agreed then. It wasn’t like he had a choice anyways; he wasn’t the one to decide over his friends’ lives.

He took the medicine and sank back into the chair. “Let’s go to bed then, huh… I guess I could fall asleep right here.”  
**_~_**  
Hajime looked up as well and was about to offer to stay home when Hijikata sent him a glance. It was like he wanted Hajime to go to school rather than watch Souji; he wasn’t sure why… though he wouldn’t argue with him.

He stood up and offered a hand to Souji since he did look very tired and weak, “I can help you… come on.”   
**_~_**  
Souji accepted the offer and took Saitou’s hand, letting himself get pulled to his feet.  
His whole body felt heavy when he walked over into the bedroom next to his best friend and curled up on the bed.

“Oyasumi,” he mumbled before his eyes closed and he fell asleep.


	12. Chapter 12

Hajime stared at his own face in the bathroom mirror after showering and changing into his school uniform. His face looked tired, and his eyes were slightly red from not sleeping well. Every time Souji would shift or cough, he woke up in a slight panic, especially since he had a second coughing fit after he went to bed.

He was trying to fight an awful feeling in the pit of his stomach, and he thought of staying home from school… however Hijikata insisted he’ go. “It will be good for you Saitou; I’ll handle things here.”

Hajime walked out of the bathroom back into the bedroom, grabbing his bag full of owed homework assignments and books. “Ne, Souji… I’ll be leaving in a minute,” he said quietly while touching his shoulder. “Do you need me to bring back anything from school for you?”  
**_~_**  
Souji looked up to Saitou tiredly, “Maybe a sheet where you write down what you did at school and what the homework is, so I can keep up with the stuff…? Don’t know…”

He hadn’t slept too well this night, he’d woken up with a slight cough often and accordingly, he still was very tired now.

“And can you tell the others I’m sorry I’m not there today? Because I told them I’d be there…”  
**_~_**  
Hajime nodded, “Very well… I can do that. And I will talk to the others, just get some rest, please.” There was no hiding the concern in his eyes as he fixed the blanket for Souji before leaving the room. Seeing his friend like this made him not want to leave, but he knew Hijikata would take care of him. He quietly said goodbye to his teacher, then left for school.

As soon as he arrived on campus, he headed towards his homeroom where Nagakura-san was waiting to greet him. “Saitou, I’m glad to see you today,” he said with a half-smile before turning serious. He lowered his voice and said, “Sano and I took care of Heisuke, so don’t worry. Though he probably wants to talk to you during lunch.”

Saitou nodded and said, “Arigatou Nagakura-san… I will look for him then.” He then proceeded to his seat and pulled out his homework. A slight sigh escaped his mouth as he gazed down at his book. He just hoped that maybe when he returned, Souji would be in better spirits.

“All right class, let’s get started with reviewing your Geometry homework…”  
**_~_**  
Souji curled up under the blanket although he just wanted to get up and accompany Saitou on his way to school.

He fell asleep again, but it wasn’t a deep, relaxing sleep but more like a soft slumber filled with strange, almost scary dreams, sometimes even with himself or one of his friends dying.

That was why, when he woke up in shock after about two hours, he decided to just stay awake and stare at the ceiling and wish for the tuberculosis to disappear.

Some time after that–Souji had stopped caring for the time–Hijikata entered the bedroom.

“Souji, I haven’t heard anything from you in a while. Are you okay?”

He smirked weakly. “If you don’t count in the nightmares in which either you, Hajime-kun or myself d–well, you know what… I guess I’m okay, yeah. At least I proved now that staring at the ceiling is way better than watching the ones you love disappear like that.”

 _Disappearing_ also sounded a thousand times better than _dying_ , he decided. He’d just go with that now if Hijikata and Saitou didn’t want to hear the _d-word_.

Hijikata sighed and sat down on the bed. “Why didn’t you call for me?”

“You were working. A nightmare isn’t something a man like you would value above their work. Besides, I was fine. Staring at the ceiling is fun, there’s nothing more interesting than that…” His voice trailed off and he sighed as well. “I just don’t want to be a burden.”

He was interrupted by the door bell ringing and asked, “Shouldn’t you go and open the door, Hijikata-san?”  
**_~_**  
“Didn’t Saitou tell you you’re not being a burden? So just call for us and stop being so damn stubborn all the time,” he grumbled, “Sometimes I think you are more stubborn than me.”

He stood up and headed out of the room, disappearing to open the door. Talking could be heard, along with another set of heavy footsteps. Eventually the bedroom door opened, and just a hand holding a giant milkshake poked through.

After a moment the door opened further and a familiar, spikey haired head appeared, “I hope you like strawberry-banana with extra whipped cream and chocolate syrup… or did I buy cherry-banana? Oh hell, I can’t remember.” Kondou smiled and sat down on the open side of the bed, putting the straw into the take-out cup before handing it over. “Sorry for surprising you like this, Souji… I just wanted to come by and see you.”  
**_~_**  
Souji’s head shot up when he saw Kondou and he nearly struggled to get up into a sitting position. “Kondou-san! What are you doing here? Don’t you have to work at school?”

He took a look at the watch on the bedside table and gasped a little. “It’s already afternoon… did I actually stare at the ceiling for so long…” Then he took the cup from Kondou’s hands. “Thank you, Kondou-san. Whether it’s strawberry or cherry; don’t worry, I like it.” He smiled a little.  
**_~_**  
Kondou grinned happily as Souji began to drink the milkshake, “I’m glad… after all milk makes you nice and strong right?” He took off his suit jacket and tossed it on the floor, then loosened his tie, “Ahhh, that’s better… I’d much rather be in my uniform than these clothes.”

“I have work to do, but that can wait,” he said, putting his hand on Souji’s arm for a moment, “you, mister, are my top priority right now.” He gave the boy a lecturing look, “You had me all worried when Toshi called off, but then he told me he just wanted Saitou to go to school, so I figured you were well enough for company.” He leaned in to Souji’s ear and whispered, “Toshi isn’t always the most… entertaining person.”  
**_~_**  
Souji hid his chuckle behind a knowing glance, “Well, actually I didn’t even try to make use of his presence yet. The ceiling is a very interesting company, you know, Kondou-san? It listens to everything I say and doesn’t ever complain. That’s quite nice, to be honest.”

He didn’t mention his nightmares yet; he didn’t want to make Kondou worry even more than he already did.

“Thank you for coming, though. By the way, who is taking over Hijikata-san’s classes? Is it actually Itou-sensei? He told us he wanted Itou-sensei to take over his classes, but I can’t really believe one would send that man to a class voluntarily.”  
Souji didn’t even try to hide his hatred for Itou. None of the students liked him and nobody knew why he was still teaching at their school, either.


	13. Chapter 13

“Ehhhhh, Itou, well… I decided to split Hijikata’s class in half between Harada and Nagakura,” Kondou replied while scratching his head. “It seemed like a better choice than having an art history session.” He chuckled a bit, then returned to the matter he really wanted to talk to him about.

“Eh… Souji, I wanted to apologize for leaving so suddenly last night,” he said, lowering his head a bit, “I just didn’t know what to say.” He tried not to choke up as he said, “You know, when you first joined the dojo, I saw great things within you. You were skilled, dedicated, and had a natural talent… but that wasn’t why I worked with you so much.”

Kondou paused briefly before pulling Souji into a hug, “…you’re my son, or rather, the closest I’ll ever have to one.” His voice was starting to shake as he asked, “So… if you’d let me… can I take care of you too?”  
**_~_**  
Souji didn’t try to stop Kondou when his teacher, the man he saw as a mix of a big brother and a father, pulled him into a hug.

“You know, Kondou-san, I just don’t want to be a burden to anyone. Even if everyone says I’m not, it’s still me who’s upsetting Heisuke and Sano-san and Shinpachi-san. It’s me who interrupts you and Hijikata-san while you’re working, and it’s me who always drags Hajime-kun along with him, especially since he found me in the changing room. I don’t want to always be the one who’s in your shadows because the tuberculosis makes me too weak to step out of them. I want to be able to live on my own, but since I’m entering the end state… I guess it’s over with that.”

He let out a shaky sigh.

“I don’t want to die. I’m not giving up–I have a goal, I promised Hajime-kun to make it to the tournament and participate with him–but every time I start coughing again, I remember how vulnerable I’m now, and that… makes me want it to stop more than ever before.”

Souji forced a smile on his lips. “I’m okay now. Thanks for listening, Kondou-san.”  
**_~_**  
Kondou listened thoughtfully as Souji spoke, and he understood where he was coming from. Kondou was just as prideful, he knew that if their places were switched, he would be the same way. “You aren’t vulnerable, Souji, it’s the illness that makes you feel that way temporarily... Those are two separate things,” he explained, “…and you will make it to the tournament, I know you will.”

“How about this,” he asked with a slight smile, “What if we let you stay at your flat, but come visit you there when you don’t feel well. Would that… give you the independence you want? If so, I’ll talk to Toshi. I doubt Saitou will leave your side, but at least you could be comfortable at your own home.”   
**_~_**  
Souji’s eyes widened slightly when Kondou suggested this. “Uh, Kondou-san, I’d love to accept your offer, but… I think I’ve gotten used to having someone around myself lately, and especially to having someone sleeping in the same bed as me… I think by now I actually feel better when I’m here. And there’s not much more independence I could have at my flat anyways. Thanks, but I think it’s okay the way it is.”

He assumed he’d disappointed Kondou now, so he added, “I didn’t mean to offend or disappoint you! That’s just… the truth, I guess.”  
**_~_**  
“No, no, it’s fine, Souji,” Kondou said with a smile. “If this is where you want to be then that’s fine. I just wanted to be sure.” He poked Souji and said, “You need to finish your milkshake, it won’t do anything for your fever if it’s all melted now, will it?”

“When you’re finished, do you want to help me pick out our uniforms for the tournament?” he asked while pulling a book out of his briefcase, “I think we need something nicer then grey and white, don’t you think so too? I want us to stand out from the rest of the schools.”  
 ** _~  
_** “You’re right.” Smiling, Souji took the cup again and finished his milkshake. At the question about the uniforms for the tournament, he immediately suggested, “If it’s about colors, let’s make… something like a rainbow? I mean, something where everyone can pick the color that suits them, and then we put the sign of our school on it. How’s that sound?”

 ** _~_**  
Kondou smiled and nodded, “That’s a good idea, Souji! Each can have their own color, then we will all have a matching haori for when we walk in. You’re a genius.”  He started flipping through the book and said, “Oh, don’t tell the others, I’m making this a surprise. Let’s pick one for each person and then I’ll order them tonight.”  
**_~_**  
Hajime walked up to the roof where he knew Heisuke would be during study hall. As expected, he sat on the bench, eating pockey while staring down at the fields.  
“Heisuke-kun, mind if I join you?” he asked hesitantly. He was friends with the boy, but not as close as he was with Souji. However right now, as he stood there worried on the roof, he could use another friend to talk to… someone who knew how he was feeling.  
**_~_**  
Souji chuckled. “Don’t worry, I won’t tell them. Feel free to surprise everyone.”  
**_~_**  
“Hajime-kun,” Heisuke said in surprise. “I didn’t expect you to come… but sit down. Do you want a pockey?” He offered his friend the box he’d put them into.

He didn’t want to have small talk now, but he figured starting this conversation in a way that wouldn’t upset Saitou.  
**_~_**  
“Oh…Arigatou Heisuke-kun,” he said while taking one of the chocolate covered biscuits. “Mhm, dark chocolate, my favorite.” After he finished his sweet, he sat there awkwardly for a few moments, not knowing exactly what to say. He clenched his hands into fists, and eventually the words came out.

“I’m… I’m scared,” he admitted, “I don’t want my best friend to die.” Perhaps the words were too straightforward, but as Souji had said, there was no need to sugar coat things. He was dying; and Hajime felt as if he was dying inside as well.  
**_~_**  
Heisuke raised an eyebrow; he wasn’t used to Saitou praising any kind of sweets as “his favorite,” but he decided to keep that topic out of discussion.

“I know,” he replied when Saitou said that he didn’t want Souji to die. “I’m not as close as you are to him, but I don’t want him to die either. He’s a good friend, even if he always teases us… and I don’t like the way the tuberculosis changes him. He might try to appear the same way as he always does, but…”

Heisuke took a deep breath. “And that’s why I think you should–we should try to make the time he still has here as nice for him as we can. It’s okay to be scared–and to show that you’re scared–but I don’t think Souji is the kind of person who wants us to be sad when we think about him. In my opinion, he wouldn’t want us to think about him lying in a bed and coughing up blood but about the happy times we had together… don’t you agree?”

A weak grin made its way to his lips. “Sorry if I sound… strange or something. But I thought about this a lot when Sano-san and Shinpachi-san took me out to the bar, and this seems to be the result.”


	14. Chapter 14

“No, that makes sense, Heisuke,” Hajime nodded. “We should make sure he enjoys himself and remember him for who he really is.” He let out a long sigh, but he wasn’t feeling any better. He had been holding in his feelings for the past 72 hours, and it was starting to eat away at him. It didn’t help that he was so tired as well.

“Heisuke-kun,” Hajime asked slowly, “When you go back, can you tell Nagakura-san that I just needed to skip last period? I’ll make up my work… I just… don’t want to be down there right now.” Everyone was too happy and excited about the school trip to the amusement park later that week, but as of right now he just didn’t feel up to being around that type of energy.

“I just need to clear my head,” he said, “maybe I should go to the practice hall for a while.”  
**_~_**  
Heisuke looked at him for what felt like an eternity. “…If you want to go to the practice hall, do you want me to come with you? I mean, I know from my own experience that having nobody to hit in a situation like this isn’t the perfect solution. But if you want to be alone, I’ll accept that and just go back to class.”

He got up and stretched his arms. “Usually I’d be the one screaming about the amusement park thing the loudest… but I’m kinda not really in the mood… though if you want to be alone, you should be.”  
**_~_**  
Hajime thought about it for a moment, then thought that maybe it would be best for both him and Heisuke to go spar for a bit. “Let’s go then,” he said with a nod. “Just know that I may not be able to hold back… I’m not sure if I can today.”

The two of them left the roof and headed to the practice hall after stopping by their classrooms first. After changing Hajime waited in the hall for Heisuke, warming himself up briefly. “Tell me when you are ready,” he called out when his classmate entered the room. Saitou took his quick draw stance and calmly waited for him to give the Okay.  
**_~_**  
Heisuke smirked at him. He already felt a little better by just wearing the clothes he loved and holding a sword in his hands.

“No need to hold back! Let it all out.”

With those words, he leapt forward to attack Saitou, dodging his first thrusts and managing to get his sword close to Saitou’s chest before he had to jump back in order to avoid being hit.

“Come on, is that all you’ve got?”  
**_~_**  
Hajime wasn’t quite expecting the sudden burst of energy for Heisuke and nearly was hit by one of his strikes. “It appears that I have not had enough time practicing,” he said seriously while taking his stance once more, “However, I will not let you get that close again.”

He waited until Heisuke made the first move and began to dodge rather than strike back. He waited until his movements became slower before he drew his sword at the last possible moment, striking it out of his hands.

 “Heisuke, you are still too easy to read; you have speed, but that can still leave great openings such as that.” He stepped back and decided that this time, whenever Heisuke would move in, he would fight for real.   
**_~_**  
Heisuke gasped in surprise when the sword was knocked out of his hands. “Whoa! I didn’t expect anything less! Well, I’m gonna be serious from now on.”

He jumped to pick up his sword and moved into a fighting stance, the tip of his sword moving a little. He used this technique to confuse his opponent–although it didn’t really work well if he was fighting Saitou.

This time it was Saitou who moved first, though, and Heisuke barely was fast enough to raise his own sword to dodge the thrust.  
**_~_**  
Hajime spun on his heel as Heisuke dodged, quickly using his force to attack for a second time. As their swords struck each other, a crack echoed in the room, caused by the force they both were exhibiting in this sparring session.

However unlike how he usually practiced, Hajime kept going with a relentless stream of thrusts, dodges, and blocks. Their pace quickened as found himself become more determined to win. It was as if he was fighting for something, something he didn’t want to give up  
**_~_**  
“Wow!” Heisuke blurted out, finding himself struggling to find an opening in Saitou’s movements. All he could do right now was defending himself and trying not to get hit in a place where it would be dangerous.

Saitou appeared to be so caught up in his fight, he didn’t seem to notice anything around them.

And then, his head hit Heisuke’s wrist hard, making him release his sword again immediately, sending it flying through the hall.  
**_~_**  
When Heisuke’s sword went flying, Hajime stopped for a moment and said, “I cannot fight someone unarmed.” He lowered his practice sword and continued, “Thank you for the spirited match, Heisuke.” He bowed his head in thanks, then slowly raised it back up.

Normally, he would spend his fight analyzing his own techniques, but this last bout was all pure instinct. It was an unusual feeling, but at the same time he also felt relieved. For the first time he was able to clear his mind, and just not think about anything at all. It was so refreshing, and now he felt energized.

“Heisuke, want to come visit Souji with me once we change?”   
**_~_**  
Heisuke smiled widely–he felt better now as well, and he was happy Saitou suggested this. “Yeah, I’d love to. We could ask him if he wants to go to the amusement park with the class, too. I’m sure he’d like to go there; don’t you think?”  
**_~_**  
Hajime nodded as he placed both practice swords back in their proper spot on the wall. “Yes, he would enjoy that,” he said while they walked to the locker room. “However, he may do a tour of sweets rather than rides, knowing him”

They both changed and walked to Hijikata’s flat, and once inside he asked Heisuke to stay for dinner before he left to get food. Both boys walked up to the bedroom and Hajime knocked on the door, “Souji, are you up? Can Heisuke and I come in?”

Souji leaned back and stretched his arms, letting out a quiet moan. “Come in~” he then hummed when he heard Saitou’s voice.


	15. Chapter 15

Saitou walked into the room with Heisuke in tow, both taking a seat on the bed. “You look much better than you did this morning,” Hajime said with relief, “Are you feeling any better?” He put his hand on Souji’s forehead and it felt just generally warm, so his fever must have faded.   
**_~_**  
“Yeah, I feel almost normal. Still a little warm, but that might be because I’ve been laying under the blanket all day.” He didn’t admit it, but he kind of enjoyed how Saitou cared for him.

“Hey, Heisuke,” he greeted Heisuke then. “How’s school going?”

“…boring since you’re not there anymore.” Heisuke was sure he blushed a little. “Anyways, we’re gonna go to an amusement park on Friday. Do you want to accompany us?”  
**_~_**  
Hajime nodded and continued, “It’s supposed to be a reward for ranking as one of the top three schools on the mid-year exam.”  
Heisuke grinned as he continued, “Yeah, so you’re gonna come right? Someone needs to teach Saitou how to cut loose and have some fun…”

He tilted his head to the side and raised an eyebrow, “I _have_ fun. I practice kendo, study, and enjoy some quiet reading. To me that is _having fun_ and _cutting loose_ , as you said.”

Heisuke shook his head and interrupted, “See what I mean, Souji? He’s more of a stick in the mud than Hijikata-san! If you don’t go, those two will be sitting there reading on a bench and feeding pigeons the entire time.”

“Heisuke,” Hijikata spoke up after he appeared from behind, “I am not some old grandpa that will be feeding birds, you know.” He scolded him playfully, “I don’t have the luxury of having fun since I have to make sure all of you behave!”  
**_~_**  
“Now, now, Hijikata-san,” Souji chuckled, “don’t get so upset. It’s an amusement park, nobody has to behave there. I’ll come with you, and then I’ll take Hajime-kun and Hijikata-san to the biggest roller coaster there is. I’ll make sure you enjoy your time there~” he hummed, smiling contently. “You’ll love it! And after the roller coaster, we can get all~ the sweets they have there. It’ll be wonderful.”

He found himself actually looking forward to it. “But, Hijikata-san,” he teased, suddenly getting a new idea, “if you want to make sure I behave and don’t run off–does that mean you want to hold my hand all the time so I can’t leave you?”  
**_~_**  
Hijikata was fine until Souji teased him about holding hands, “Hold hands? Tssssch. If anything I’ll put you on one of those little kid leashes so you can’t go more than 5 feet from me.”  
Heisuke started laughing, shaking the bed, “Hahaha, I don’t know which one would be more funny to see!”

Hijikata raised an eyebrow and said, “I wouldn’t be laughing too hard, Heisuke, you may be too short to ride the coasters.”  
Heisuke stopped laughing and turned red with embarrassment, “I’m not that short!”  
**_~_**   
“Minna ~ Should we perhaps go and eat before the food Hijikata-san picked up gets cold?”  
Souji got up from the bed to walk over into the kitchen, the teasing smile never leaving his lips. “Now, now, don’t fight, Heisuke and Hijikata-san. Although I’d like to see you try and put me on one of those leashes, Hijikata-san. It might be an interesting experience for the both of us.”

Oh, how he loved teasing his friends.

It might have been that he was becoming clingy, but he found himself thinking that maybe he wouldn’t mind holding hands with one of them.

_It wouldn’t have to be Heisuke, though…_

“What about me?” Heisuke asked, and Souji flinched slightly in surprise.

“Oh, it’s nothing,” he smiled reassuringly. “I was just thinking about something. Did I say it out loud?”  
**_~_**  
“Souji,” Hijikata growled while shaking his head. “One of these days… Ugh. Just sit down and eat.”

The group all took their seats around the table and passed around the large pizzas Hijikata had picked up. “Souji, I was able to bring you notes home so you can catch back up,” he said trying to keep the dinner peaceful.  
Heisuke nodded after stuffing his face with an entire piece of pepperoni, “Yeah, though you didn’t miss much today. Itou was a snooze fest this morning, then Kondou-san had us split up between Harada and Nagakura’s classrooms so we could actually learn something.”

Hijikata raised an eyebrow and muttered, “So he didn’t follow my lesson plan? That man is useless. Why the hell did I even bother staying up late to put that together then?”  
**_~_**  
“What about one of these days?” Souji cocked his head to the side slightly, picking a piece of pizza and taking a bite. “Ah, thanks, Hajime-kun. I’ll do my best to catch up, then,” he smirked a little.

Then he added, “Don’t get upset, Hijikata-san. That’s bad for your health~ actually even I wouldn’t want Itou-sensei to teach our class.”  
**_~  
_** Hijikata exhaled slowly and said, “Hey, I don’t like him either, but he does his job… in his own eclectic way. Besides it’s not like we can kick out tenured faculty.”

“Well, maybe when Chizuru graduates and finishes college, she can replace him,” Heisuke grinned. “She is going to study to be a teacher, ya know, Hijikata-san.”  
Saitou nodded slowly, “I believe she would be a good teacher someday, she does work very hard at her studies.”

Hijikata suddenly tensed up a little at the mention of her name. “Uh, yes, well that’s still quite a few years away, Heisuke.” His eyes darted down to his pizza as he said, “I agree, Saitou, she does work very hard.”

Saitou glanced over at Souji curiously, wondering if he knew why Hijikata was acting so strangely, but then decided to take another slice of pizza.   
**_~_**  
“Why, Hijikata-san, you’re blushing,” Souji smiled knowingly although for once he had no idea what was going on.  
He couldn’t show that, though. He always knew everything, even the most unnecessary gossip, so he had to act as if he knew this too.


	16. Chapter 16

“What, I am not… I don’t blush,” Hijikata said defensively. “You’re just messing with me again, Souji.” Heisuke looked at Hijikata, then back to Souji, then back to Hijikata with a look of shock on his face. “Um, he _is_ blushing,” Heisuke said not believing his eyes, “I think Hijikata-san…”

“Heisuke, don’t,” he replied sharply, “I’m just embarrassed that anyone would suggest such a thing. I’m a teacher, assistant headmaster, and much older than her… Just the thought would be inappropriate.”

Heisuke looked down and stuttered out, “Oh, yeah, of course… Anyway, uh, Souji are you still planning on going to the tournament with us in three weeks?”  
**_~_**  
Souji smirked slightly. Although not having been completely sure, he had thought so.

Answering Heisuke’s question, he said, “Of course. There’s no way I’m gonna miss that. I’ll definitely come. Why are you asking?”  
**_~_**  
“Well, I was thinking that maybe after it, we could like, all have dinner together…you know as a group? We don’t get to do that like we used to.” Perhaps Souji’s situation was making Heisuke become more sentimental than usual. Much like how Saitou didn’t want to leave Souji’s side, Heisuke found himself wanting to be around the Dojo group.  
**_~_**  
“I’d like that,” Souji replied slowly. “You’re right, we didn’t do that in some time. It’ll be nice to do something together with everyone again.”

He already missed all his friends, and he wanted to go back to school as soon as possible–and he also wanted to do as Heisuke had suggested, to meet them and have fun with them, to do something they all enjoyed.  
**_~_**  
Heisuke grinned and said, “Really? Okay! I’ll put it together, then! It’ll be fun and a great way to celebrate our win!”  
Hijikata smirked, “So you know we are going to win Heisuke?”

He nodded, “Hell, yeah! With Saitou and Okita we are gonna win. We have to, right? I mean, Kondou’s record is on the line!”  
Saitou’s face flushed a bit as Heisuke complimented him, “Thank you, but I need to practice harder in order to compete on such a high level.”

Heisuke shook his head, “I don’t think so, you seemed pretty ready today. You shoulda seen it, Saitou seriously beat me this afternoon. He was on a whole different level!”  
**_~_**  
“I think you’re pretty good too, Hajime-kun,” Souji agreed. “You’re on the same level as me, and if we’re there together, we’ll definitely win. Besides, we should compete sometime again… I miss sparring with you.”  
**_~_**  
Hajime’s face was still showing shades of pink as he shyly looked down at his plate, “Arigatou Souji, and, yes… when you feel up to it, we should spar again.”

The group finished their pizza, and Heisuke waved and headed home to do his homework with a smile on his face. Hajime sat on the couch next to Souji with the TV on as he read his assignment for the evening, then started to doze off. His head filled with thoughts about the upcoming tournament, forming a tiny smile on his face as he slept.  
**_~_**  
Souji looked to Saitou in surprise when he felt a weight falling down on his shoulder, and a smile spread on his lips when he saw that his best friend had fallen asleep.

He lifted him off the couch and carefully carried him over into the bedroom, laying him down on the bed.

“We’re going to bed, Hijikata-san,” he called out to his teacher before slipping under the blanket next to Saitou.

“Oyasumi, Hajime-kun~”


	17. Chapter 17

Hajime stood in the sunlight, squinting, taking in all the noises around him. Games, carnival music, and laughing surrounded them. His eyes scanned the park as he held onto a giant bag of cotton candy, wondering where Souji ran off to.  
**_~_**  
Souji could barely hold back his chuckle when he saw his best friend like this. It was almost as if Saitou had never been in an amusement park before…

He left his hideout behind a tree and put his hands over Saitou’s eyes.

“Were you looking for me, Hajime-kun~?”  
**_~_**  
“S… Souji!” he said in surprise as he felt the hands over his eyes, “Hai, I brought back your cotton candy.” He turned around and said, “Would you like to sit for a while? Or perhaps find a shady spot, or should we go play some games?” Hajime felt awkward, hiding the fact that he just didn’t even know where to start. This was his first trip to a place like this, and it was quite overwhelming.   
**_~_**  
Souji clasped his hands over his mouth. “Don’t tell me… you’ve never been to an amusement park?! We’re gonna ride that roller coaster over there first; come on!”

He grabbed Saitou’s wrist and dragged him along. “You have to walk faster, or we’ll have to wait an eternity!”  
**_~_**  
“Uh… well…” Hajime said embarrassed, “I… have not.” He felt Souji pull him along to the first line. He could sense the excitement in his friend’s voice as they entered the line for the first ride. He looked up to see the steel track that seemed to reach up to the sky. “That coaster is quite tall,” he said with a slight gulp, “Is this… what we are in line for?”  
**_~_**  
Souji nodded happily. “Yeah, and you’ll love it! You aren’t scared of heights, are you?–Ah, never mind, you’ll love it anyways. If you’re scared, you can hold my hand~”  
**_~_**  
Hajime tensed up, “I am not scared. I just have never been, that high up before.” He nodded, “If you think I’ll like it, then I trust your judgement Souji.” The line moved quite quickly, and before long they were already stepping into the front car. When the bar went down Hajime was about to say something, but the coaster shot off like a rocket right after, taking them slowly up the first tall hill.  
**_~_**  
Souji’s eyes practically sparkled with happiness as he held the bar tightly in the beginning.

When the coaster shot down the first hill, he was probably the one to yell the loudest of all the people riding the coaster.

“What do you say, Hajime-kun?” he called out to be heard against the wind. “How could you live without this? Isn’t it wonderful?!”  
**_~_**  
Hajime nodded, and he had to admit that this was a great rush of adrenaline. He wasn’t quite sure what to expect with each movement of the car. It wasn’t the same as a sparring match, but he still found it quite exciting. When the ride ended he asked, “How many more of these are there… I feel as if we should try them all.”  
**_~_**  
“Really?!” Souji asked in excitement. “Come, over there’s another one!”

He pulled Saitou along, explaining, “This one’s a little faster, though–as far as I know. And it’s a little more exciting because it has a looping!”  
**_~_**  
Saitou nodded and while in line he pointed to Heisuke exiting the coaster, not looking so well.  Then both Harada and Nagakura came into sight, both laughing as they patted Heisuke on the back. Chizuru seemed irritated with them as she seemed to pull the boy over to a nearby bench. “I wonder why Heisuke looks so sick,” he said curiously. “Perhaps he doesn’t like coasters?”  
**_~_**  
Souji laughed. “There are people who are scared of heights, or who just can’t get along with the speed of those things… you can ask Heisuke if you want to know why he doesn’t feel well. I haven’t tried to take him to a coaster yet, so I don’t really know.”  
**_~_**  
Hajime shrugged and said, “Perhaps we should just let Chizuru take care of him.” As they sat down in the next car, this one had individual seats, seat belts, and a bar that went over his shoulders that locked in place. The ride started and he soon found out what all those extra precautions were for when they went upside-down twice.

It was such a strange feeling, almost dizzying when combined with the speed, but it still was quite exhilarating. Souji seemed to be enjoying this coaster a bit more, putting his hands up at times and screaming excitedly.

The exited the gate and Hajime said, “That was very fun, though I feel a bit light-headed. Can we stop for a moment to get a soda?”  
**_~_**  
“Of course, if you don’t end up like Heisuke,” Souji replied, his heart still beating faster than usual from the previous excitement. “Wouldn’t want to have to carry you home before our time here is over.”  
**_~_**  
Hajime let out a stiff laugh, “I do not have a weak stomach like Heisuke, I’ll be fine. I think I’m just not used to being upside-down.”  As they started to walk to a vendor, he continued, “I want to spend the maximum time possible here with you having fun, so I will not get ill.”

He knew that he likely sounded stiff and awkward, but he was normally such a serious person. It always sounded odd whenever he tried to express his true feelings. He handed a drink over to Souji, then took a sip of his own, “This is giving me some energy again. Since you know so much about this park, where shall we go to next?”  
**_~_**  
Souji nodded, “There are some other roller coasters, some games and even a summer toboggan run. It’s your first time here, so just choose something that sounds interesting to you, huh? If you can’t decide, I’ll just lead you somewhere.”  
**_~_**  
Hajime nodded and pointed to some game booths and said, “Let’s try some of those, then try more rides.” He walked over with Souji and there were a few of their schoolmates trying to hit targets. “They seem to be doing poorly,” he said, noticing their lack of winning a prize.

He walked up and said, “What is the purpose of this game?” They explained you had to knock down three of the same color milk bottles to win a prize, but they were starting to wonder if it was rigged.

His eyes narrowed at the game booth operator as he put down money and said, “One round for each of us.” He turned to Souji and said, “We will show them how to win this challenge.”  
**_~_**  
Souji’s smile turned into the grin most people called scary and dangerous; the grin he always had on his lips when he was about to attack someone. “That’s a good suggestion, Hajime-kun.”

He stepped closer and in his first try hit all three bottles. “That’s just the skill you’re lacking,” he teased his classmates.  
**_~_**  
After Souji successfully took his turn Hajime took the softballs next and did the same, hitting the exact targets on his first try as well. Their classmates stared in awe as they put down more money, but still failed to accomplish hitting even one.

The game booth operator blinked and walked up to them slowly with a look of surprise on his face, “Uh…you can pick your prizes from the top row.” He pointed to a huge selection of stuffed toys and Hajime said pointing at a cat dressed as a samurai, “I will take that one.”   
**_~_**  
Souji chose a bear in a pink dress that was almost half as tall as himself, already planning what kinds of pranks he could play on people with this.

“Hey, Hajime-kun, what do you think Hijikata-san would say if I gave this to him and told him I chose it just for him~?”  
**_~_**  
Hajime blinked as he stared at the massive bear that Souji was toting around, “Uh, I believe he would likely say _SOUJI_ sternly and turn red.”  He looked down at his own stuffed prize and said, “I almost feel bad for that bear, it would likely not be loved by him… perhaps you should give it to Chizuru instead.”  
**_~_**  
“You’re right, Hajime-kun. If I give it to Chizuru-chan, Hijikata-san will most likely end up carrying it around for her anyways, considering the new fact we learned that day when Heisuke had dinner with us.” He laughed while walking over to Chizuru.

“Here, Chizuru-chan, I participated in this game over there. I chose a prize of which I thought you might like it,” Souji explained, a bright teasing smile on his lips.  
**_~_**  
“For me?” Chizuru exclaimed with excitement in her eyes. “It’s so cute, and fluffy, and big!” She took the giant bear into her arms, squealing with delight, “Okita-san, thank you so much!!”

The classmates that were trying to win prizes frowned as they walked past, seeming disappointed that they weren’t the ones to give stuffed toys to Chizuru. “Neeee, Saitou-san, that cat is cute too… It kind of looks like Okita-san!”

Hajime held up the samurai cat next to Souji’s face and said, “I do not see the similarities, Chizuru, although its grin looks a bit like his, but it’s not wide enough.”  
**_~_**  
Souji laughed and added, “That bear is so huge and heavy, Chizuru-chan, I’m sure Hijikata-san will happily carry it for you while we’re still here in the park. You should ask him. By the way, Hajime-kun, it’s nice to hear that you still prefer me over your ‘new best friend,’ also known as the samurai cat you’re pressing to your chest surprisingly tightly.”

He actually wondered why his best friend was holding the stuffed animal so tightly…  
**_~_**  
“Good idea, Okita-san,” she said jumping up, “I’m going to go find him right now.” She bowed to them both before running off with the bear in tow.

Hajime looked down at the cat and seemed embarrassed, “Of course I prefer you, It’s just a stuffed toy. I am only holding onto it because I do not wish to lose it.” Now that Chizuru left he was starting to see that perhaps she was right, and it did look a bit like Souji. Surprisingly enough it made him want to keep it safe as well.

“We should go get in line for something in the shade,” he said to Souji, “You look like you are getting warm standing here.”  
**_~_**  
“Good luck, Chizuru-chan!” Souji called after her before turning back to Saitou. “Yeah, you’re right. How about the waterslide? It’s really nice too; about as nice as the first coaster.”


	18. Chapter 18

Saitou nodded and followed Souji around to the waterslide, then a few other rides. When they stepped off the final coaster, he noticed Hijikata was sitting with the bear next to him on a bench, looking highly annoyed. “It seems your plan worked, Souji,” he mentioned quietly, “Hijikata-san looks quite uncomfortable.”  
**_~_**  
“He does!” Souji hummed in high spirits. “Let’s accompany him for a while, huh?”

They walked over to him and Souji smiled at Hijikata.

“Are you glad that Chizuru-chan is happy, Hijikata-san~?”  
**_~_**  
Hijikata looked up at him and said, “You just had to win this thing and give it to her, didn’t you? Now I have to carry it around for her which is annoying.” He let out a sigh, “But, yeah, _you_ seem to have made her day. She can’t stop talking about this thing… I’ve had to listen to her try to come up with a name for the last half hour.”

Hajime looked at Hijikata, noticing he seemed less annoyed and more hurt. He wasn’t quite sure why, though. “Hijikata-san, Souji… how about I get some ice cream… I’ll be back in a bit.” If ice cream cheered Souji up, perhaps it would do the same for Hijikata as well.  
**_~_**  
Souji let out a sigh. “Yeah, thanks, Hajime-kun; I’ll stay here with Hijikata-san and cheer him up.”

He sat down on the bench and patted his teacher’s shoulder. “She’s been staring at that thing all the time, and I was sure you wouldn’t go and win it for her. It’s not that I don’t care for her, but I don’t like her the same way as you do. She’ll realize that soon.”

Then he had an idea, “She might be happy about this, but if you want to do her a favor, treat her for dinner… buy her something nice… if you do that more often than I do–I mean, I won’t do it often anymore anyways–she’ll realize what’s going on. Or you could just bluntly tell her if that’s what you prefer.”  
**_~_**  
Hijikata’s eyes shot wide as Souji talked to him and he suggested that he take her to dinner.

“Souji, I’m her teacher, I can’t even… I shouldn’t…” He dropped his head and muttered, “Dammit… Why am I drawn so much to her? I shouldn’t even be saying this.”

“She’s much younger than me, anyway,” he said almost to himself, “She’d much rather find someone her age.” He muttered the word _dammit_ to himself again and then raised his head, “Souji, what the hell is wrong with me? At least you’ll be honest.”  
**_~_**  
Souji pecked his teacher’s nose, grinning a little. “Right, I’ll be honest. You’re–in–love, Hijikata-san. With your student. That’s not all that bad. I mean, you can see her every day. If you keep trying to forget that you love her, that could become quite a problem, though… you want me to arrange a date for the two of you?” he suggested, cocking his head to the side slightly.

“And you seem to be jealous of me, for whatever reason because I keep telling you that I have no interest in a romantic relationship with Chizuru-chan before I leave this world. Other than you, it seems.”  
**_~_**  
Hijikata exhaled slowly and admitted, “Perhaps I’m just jealous because it’s more acceptable for you to make her happy than me.” He sighed slightly, thinking, “The problem is that I can’t forget that I love her.” He raised his head and said, “Thanks, Souji… but don’t get any ideas. I can’t go on a date with her, and that’s final.”

Saitou returned with three cups of ice cream. “Souji these are delicious, they call these things Dippin’ Dots, and they’re like mini ice cream balls!” He handed one off to each of them and said, “I hope you like them as well.”  
**_~_**  
Souji ate his Dippin’ Dots quietly, thinking about what Hijikata had said. But he couldn’t find a way to make it work out; his teacher was right after all.

“It’ll work out when she’s graduated,” he said and turned to Saitou, “that was a good choice. This is delicious~”  
**_~_**  
Hijikata nodded slowly in acknowledgment as Saitou said, “Excellent, I’m glad you are enjoying it as well.”

“Okita-san, Saitou-san, Hijikata-san, you’re all together,” Chizuru said returning out of breath with her hair all messy, “Thank you for watching over Kuma!”  
Hajime tilted his head to the side and said, “Chizuru, you named the bear ‘ _bear’_?”  
She nodded and said, “Hai! I couldn’t come up with another name, so it suits her, don’t you think?”

“Hijikata-san, what are you eating?” she said, pointing to the cup with the tiny balls inside. Hijikata tensed up for a moment and handed it to her, “Here, you can eat it since I’m not big on sweets. Souji and Saitou seem to like it.”

“Neeeeee?! Arigatou, Hijikata-san,” she said excitedly while taking a taste, “Mmm, it’s delicious. Hijikata-san, would you mind carrying Kuma for me a bit longer? I want to show you this ride, you have to try it!”  
**_~_**  
Souji smiled a little, showing Hijikata he’d keep his fingers crossed for him and waved them off. “Aren’t they a perfect match for each other, Hajime-kun?”  
**_~_**  
“A perfect… match…” Hajime said while looking at them walking off, “You mean Chizuru and Hijikata-san are…?”  He ate the remainder of his ice cream and said, “That would explain why he gave this delicious treat to her rather than eating it himself… and his reaction the other night.”  
He threw away his empty cup and said, “I believe I have decided what I want to go on next Souji.” He pointed up at a giant bungee jump that was taller than the coasters they had ridden, “That is the only ride we haven’t done yet.”  
**_~_**  
“Wait. Don’t tell me you haven’t noticed that yet.” Souji acted shocked but then nodded in agreement. “Yeah, I haven’t done such a bungee jump before. Let’s try it together!”


	19. Chapter 19

Hajime shook his head; he hadn’t noticed at all… even before he found out Souji was sick. Perhaps he really was dense when it came to those sorts of things. They walked over towards the bungee jump and the line was completely empty. He thought it was odd, but perhaps people were waiting for other rides.

When they walked up, they were forced to watch a safety video, and to put on some strange harnesses and helmets. Hajime was quite surprised about all of the extra necessary steps, but Souji seemed to be really excited, so it must be worth it.

“Who wants to pull the chord?” the attendant asked after strapping them up to the line. Hajime shook his head, so they handed the button to Souji. “Once you hear the bell, that means you can press the button whenever you are ready kid, got it?”  
**_~_**  
Souji hummed in excitement and didn’t let all the safety measures lower his happiness about it.

“You ready, Hajime-kun?” he asked when they handed him the button.  
**_~_**  
He nodded and they slowly started to be pulled up the cable all the way up to the top of the tower. “Wow, you can see everything from up here,” he commented while looking down. Everyone looked like such tiny ants the farther they moved up. When they reached the top, they hung there for a few moments, and Hajime’s heart rate started to rise. The bell went off and he swallowed hard, looking down, wondering what the next moment was going to feel like.  
**_~_**  
The next moment, it felt like less than two seconds, they fell.

It was wonderful. Souji let out a loud yell that probably everyone in the park could hear, and he felt as free and light as he hadn’t felt in an eternity.  
**_~_**  
As they fell, Hajime wondered if he left his stomach at the top. The free fall was so very exhilarating, but he was relieved when they were just swinging back and forth after. His face was a bit pale, from the sudden rush, but when he looked over and saw how happy Souji was, it was worth it… though he likely would pass on trying this ride again.

As soon as they landed, they took off their harnesses and exited the platform. Everyone was there waiting for them, seeming to be shocked as they all mutters out words like “You did that?” and “That was crazy!”  
Hajime looked over at Souji, who still had a big smile on his face. “Souji… do you mind if we sit for a little while?” he asked.  
**_~_**  
Souji felt his legs shaking a little, as if they didn’t trust the ground beneath him, but besides that he was completely happy. “Yeah, let’s sit down,” he replied happily before turning more serious. “You look pale. Are you okay?”  
**_~_**  
“I’m fine,” he insisted, “I just was not expecting that.” His heart rate finally slowed and the color returned to his skin. “Souji, you seem to have enjoyed that much more than the coasters,” he said, feeling happy that he seemed to be a bit lighter mood-wise than before.  
**_~_**  
“Oh, it was great, Hajime-kun! I’ve never done something like this before so I didn’t know what to expect, but I loved it. I’ve never felt so free before! But I think I need to get used to standing on the safe ground now too.” The grin slowly faded from his lips until only a soft smile was left.  
**_~_**  
Hajime smiled quite brightly and said, “Really?! I’m glad you liked it. It was very different, but I am happy to be on the ground as well.”

He felt very warm and pleased inside that his best friend was having such a good time. He wanted to make sure they had many more days like this as well.  
**_~_**  
“Wow, it’s been an eternity since I last saw you smile like that, Hajime-kun. You should do so more often.”

Souji got up and pointed at the sky. “It’s getting dark. Maybe we should go and look for Hijikata-san and the others to ask them if they have any more plans for today or if we should return home, huh?”  
**_~_**  
Hajime’s cheeks turned pink as he said, “Arigatou, Souji.” He nodded and they went off to find the others, who were all gathering in the center of the park.

“There you two are, we were worried you’d miss the fireworks,” Chizuru said, jumping up and down. “They are going to start as soon as it gets dark!”   
Heisuke grinned and said, “I heard it’s a big display too!”

Hijikata nodded his head and said, “We’ll stay for the fireworks, then once that’s over we’ll all take the train back as a group. I need to make sure you all get home, okay?” The group nodded in acknowledgement of their teacher’s request and found a place to sit and watch the fireworks from.

“Souji, cotton candy,” he said, passing it over to his friend, “Chizuru insisted… but this bag is as big as that bear.”  
**_~_**  
Souji laughed when he saw the huge bag. “Wow, I didn’t know they sell bags this huge.” He took some of the cotton candy and let it melt in his mouth, enjoying the sweetness.

“Fireworks, huh… haven’t seen them in some time either. We have to make up for all that stuff now, don’t we? Before we can’t anymore, I mean…”  
**_~_**  
Hajime reached over and grabbed his friend’s arm when he said those last few words. The reality of Souji’s situation was that he was dying. Crossing items off a _bucket list_ wasn’t his friend’s way of life. He was firm, yet soft-spoken as he replied, “I wish to live like you and enjoy every moment, Souji… so let’s do that.”

Moments later the fireworks started, directing their attention up. Blues, golds, purples, and reds filled the evening sky. They were bright and exploded quickly, sparkling as they fell. That’s the way his friend was to him. A bright, loud, and glorious explosion in the sky. He just wished his time wasn’t that short.  
**_~_**  
Souji smiled, pushing the sadness that suddenly stabbed his heart like a dagger back into the furthest corner of his heart.

He also kept his comment about how he of all people was like a firework to himself and nodded at what Saitou had said.

“You’re right.” He leaned over a little to rest his chin on his best friend’s shoulder. “Let’s enjoy everything.”  
**_~_**  
Hajime felt Souji rest on his shoulder and gave a small nod. He quietly decided that besides helping his friend when he was ill, he would also make sure that they both enjoyed every moment in the time they had left together.  
**_~_**  
Watching the fireworks like this was nice, and, being exhausted from all the action this day, Souji felt his eyes falling close.

“Sorry,” he mumbled because apparently his friends would have to carry him back home, before his eyes closed completely and he fell asleep.


	20. Chapter 20

The entire kendo team gathered outside the Dojo where the tournament was to be held. Each member was wearing a special uniform, but everyone also donned a Blue and White Haori with the crest of their school on the back. They all looked different, yet they still appeared to be a cohesive unit.

Right before they were to parade inside, Hajime nervously looked at his best friend, their captain, who was in line in front of him. “Souji… are you ready?”  
**_~_**  
Souji smiled proudly. “I’m healthy and well prepared; there’s nothing to worry about, Hajime-kun.”

He knew there actually were plenty of things that could go wrong for him, but he wasn’t going to let this worsen this wonderful day.

“I’m not gonna back off now, not after I’ve been looking forward to today for so long.”

He locked his eyes with Saitou’s, both of them knowing that if he took a wrong hit, it might be the last one he’d ever take.

“Good luck, Hajime-kun,” Souji said, his gaze saying everything he didn’t want or couldn’t say out loud.  
**_~_**  
Hajime nodded slowly, noticing his friend was exuding confidence and pride. He was worried, but if this was how Souji felt, then he would succeed. “Good luck, Souji,” he replied before Kondou and Hijikata led the team into the hall.

The announcer introduced Hakuo Academy as the reigning champions and their schoolmates who had driven to the watch cheered loudly. It was quite an amazing sight as the various schools filtered in. Hajime couldn’t help but be a bit nervous, though he appeared calm on the exterior. Not only was the school’s longstanding pride on the line, but he also wanted to win for Souji’s sake.

The tournament began and they were each broken up into their tier based off their style. Heisuke was up first, and both Harada and Shinpachi were his coach’s. It was an intense match, but Heisuke was able to remain calm and beat his first opponent with ease, which was a massive relief.

Next up was Souji’s turn, and before he left their side of the hall, Kondou touched him gently on the shoulder, “You are a fine student, Souji, I’m proud to be your coach. Now go out there and win.”  
**_~_**  
Souji’s first opponent was way taller than him, he looked almost too old to be a high schooler, but Souji knew he’d be able to win.

The fight went well for him and soon he was able to raise his sword to hit his opponent’s neck–but that was when the other boy pushed his own sword forward, and its tip hit Souji’s chest hard.

He flew back, coughing in pain, and, of course, there also was blood.

He saw his friends jumping to their feet and Hijikata looked as if he was about to run over to him, but Souji got back to his feet and wiped off the blood with his sleeve.

“Wait… I’m gonna finish this.”

He turned back to his opponent who winced when he saw the threatening, dark glare.

“…now you’ve done it. I’m going to finish you off.”  
**_~_**  
Hajime’s eyes went wide as he watched Souji get hit, but he resisted the urge to interrupt the match. His arm blocked Hijikata’s path as Souji said he would finish the match.   
“Let him,” he said sternly, “please, Hijikata-san.”  
Their teacher was not pleased, but he relented and stepped back. Hajime gripped his kendo sword and watched Souji suddenly appear as if he was someone else… He was going to take-out this opponent, and make him pay for that strike.  
**_~_**  
Souji, spurred by his anger, nearly flew towards his opponent. Now that he was more serious, his strikes became more forceful and it didn’t take him more than two minutes to pin his opponent to the ground, his sword touching the other boy’s throat.

“You know, I could do the same to you,” he threatened just because he felt like saying it, even though he knew he’d need a real sword for that.

His voice became hoarse in the end and he raised his hand to his mouth to prevent the blood from dripping down to the floor as he coughed again, falling to his knees next to his opponent.

“It’s… my win, isn’t it?”  
**_~_**  
The judges nodded and held up the card with their school’s logo, signaling the win. Immediately after that, Kondou walked over and helped Souji up, handing him a handkerchief to wipe his face.

“I’m sorry Souji, that was an illegal hit though the judges didn’t stop the match,” he muttered quietly. “It seems someone is trying to cheat, which is not part of the spirit of kendo.” Once they got to the sidelines, there was a match in between before it would be Hajime’s turn, so he walked over to his best friend and said, “Your skills in that last run were impressive. I will make their next opponent pay for that disrespectful act when I challenge their school next.”  
**_~_**  
Souji’s cough didn’t stop, even though he was sitting on the bench now. “It’s fine… thanks to him I was finally able to go all out again. Besides, I won and he paid for it… but feel free to go all out and make them pay, Hajime-kun,” he addressed his best friend. “They don’t really deserve anything else.”  
**_~  
_** “Hai,” he said while hesitating to leave Souji’s side. His cough sounded worse than usual, likely from the force of the hit. It made him so angry inside. Hijikata could sense that, so he went over and said, “Saitou, you’re up next… Kondou will sit with Souji and he’ll be fine once he rests.” He tossed the inhaler to Souji then as Kondou sat down beside the boy.

“I’ll be back quickly, Souji,” he said with a reassuring nod before following Hijikata towards the floor to prepare for his match.

“You have quite a good friend there with Saitou, don’t you, Souji,” Kondou smiled.  
**_~_**  
Souji lowered his head slightly. “The best one. Wouldn’t want anyone else to be my best friend… and I don’t want to leave him alone.” He used the inhaler and finally, his cough subsided. “Not like I’d want him to come with me, though. I just want everything to stay the way it is.”  
**_~_**  
He patted Souji on the shoulder and nodded, “I know, I believe the feeling is mutual.” He stood up and offered him his hand to help him up, “Let’s go cheer him on, I’m guessing you want to see his match right?”

“Saitou Hajime, Assistant Captain of the Hakuo Academy will now face Sakamoto Ryoma of Tosa Academy.”

Hajime calmly walked to the floor and bowed to his opponent politely before taking his stance. His Kendo sword was pointed behind him, and he prepared to use his quick draw style that he spent many years trying to master.

“I’m gonna bet you, lefty,” the opponent snarled. “Your stance is a disgrace.”

Hajime said nothing, and instead focused his energy and remained calm. Once the buzzer started, his opponent attacked immediately, but Saitou did not draw his sword. Instead he carefully dodged each strike with ease, making his foe look extremely unskilled. Once he became frustrated, he started to make mistakes and leave openings.

Hajime stayed calm and waited for the right moment, then drew his sword in the blink of an eye, hovering over the neck of Sakamoto. The crowd had a mixed reaction of shock and awe, followed by clapping as he was announced the winner of that round. He bowed politely and left the floor, not saying a single word.  
**_~_**  
Souji applauded loudly when he saw Saitou winning his match. “Great, Hajime-kun!” he called out, “I wouldn’t have done it any other way!”


	21. Chapter 21

Hajime walked up to Souji and nodded his head, “Arigatou, Souji, I hope that was fine… In the spirit of the tournament I did not want to lower myself to their level.”  
A few more matches took place and they watched quietly from the sidelines, that was until Heisuke spoke up.

“Um… Okita, Saitou… am I fighting him next?”

Hajime turned his head and in surprise, “He looks too large to be in Heisuke’s class.” He was as tall as Harada, and Hajime could swear he saw a slight beard on the boy… or man.  
Hijikata’s eyebrows furrowed as he walked up to the group, “Dammit… Those look like university students. This doesn’t look fair in the least.” He looked back at all three and said, “You all need to be extremely cautious in this next round. It’s instant elimination… and by the looks of things, this is not going to be a fair round.”  
**_~_**  
Souji sighed and got up. “Heisuke, pretend you were injured. I’ll stand in for you… to show them what’s ‘fair.’ And I’ll fight my own match as well, except if Hijikata-san says he wants to stand in for me…?”

He gave his teacher a questioning look, knowing he wouldn’t approve of it, but he didn’t want to let the other school play their tricks as they pleased.

He knew that, however, _if_ Hijikata agreed, his opponent wouldn’t stand a chance of fighting him for only five minutes.  
**_~_**  
Hijikata sighed, “I’d rather have you take his place, Souji, but we can’t make substitutions unless the judges agree to it… and I doubt they will.” He looked extremely frustrated with this situation; since the rules were so strict and the officials were obviously corrupted his hands were tied. “Heisuke, if you don’t feel comfortable fighting then you can choose to forfeit… and Kondou or I won’t be upset.”

“Thanks, Okita, for trying to help,” Heisuke said sincerely. He looked Hijikata in the eye and gripped his bamboo practice sword, “I won’t give up. I’ll fight until I can’t anymore.”

Hajime nodded, but shot a worried look to his best friend. He was looking forward to a clean, fair fight, but now that dream was taken away. He gripped the fabric of his hakama, swearing that he would make sure that when he fought, he would give it everything.  
**_~_**  
“But you said it yourself… what they’re doing isn’t fair… and besides, that’s why I said he should pretend to be injured,” Souji pouted, his arms crossed over his chest, while Heisuke took his place in front of his opponent.  
**_~_**  
Hijikata sighed heavily and sat down next to Souji on the bench. “I know, Souji… but remember that Kondou and I are too prideful to sink to their level.” He looked on worriedly as Harada and Nagakura seemed to pull the boy aside and go over some techniques. “I’d rather loose than cheat to win,” he said, “but I do admire your spirit for wanting to protect Heisuke. That’s admirable all on its own.”

The group watched as Heisuke battled his opponent. The match took nearly seven minutes to complete, but when it was finished Heisuke and his never-ending endurance had won. Once the match ended however the student who lost lashed out at Heisuke, making a dirty play catching his knee. Harada and Nagakura had to help Heisuke back to the bench as Kondou and Hijikata both angrily went to talk to the officials and judges.

“Tsssschhhhhh, this hurts,” Heisuke said trying not to let the pain get to him. Harada sighed and said, “It looks like you sprained it, you are done for the tournament Heisuke.” Nagakura growled and kicked a trash can, “Dammit those cheating bastards. Why…? I’m gonna pulverize ‘em!”

Hajime grasped Souji’s shoulder tightly, trying to hold back his anger as he stood there quietly. Now they were no longer just cheating, they were out to injure them as well.

Hijikata returned back with flames of hell burning in his eyes, “Souji, Saitou the judges agreed that you both will be splitting Heisuke’s rounds for the rest of the tournament.” His fists clenched as he said, “We’re going to defeat them fair and square. Give the next rounds everything you have, understood?”  
**_~_**  
The dangerous smile flashed across Souji’s lips again. “I’ll be glad to show them what I can do if they make me angry. Ah, that’ll be fun, won’t it, Hajime-kun?”  
**_~_**  
Hajime nodded and turned to his friend with a fire burning within his own eyes as well. “Are you able to go first? I do not think I can restrain myself yet,” he said in a low growl. It wasn’t often that he showed any signs of anger, but now that they were disrespecting his friends, his leaders, and kendo itself, he couldn’t hold back any longer.  
**_~_**  
Souji grasped his shoulder firmly and looked into Saitou’s eyes briefly. “Yeah, I’ll go first while you calm down, Hajime-kun. I’ll finish it in… two minutes.”

He stepped forward to face his next opponent, and, now that his anger was wakening, he practically flew around his opponent and soon had fought him down to his knees, the tip of his sword touching the other boy’s neck slightly.

“Think about it,” he whispered threateningly. “I’m just getting started. I could’ve played with you way more, so be glad that I didn’t. Tell that your friends. Other than you, I can play with you while obeying the rules, after all.”  
**_~_  
** “He looks like one of those guys from a samurai film,” Heisuke said while Nagakura held ice to his knee. “Souji’s good, but I’ve never seen him like this.”

Hajime watched the intense match, knowing full well that Souji was going to be the victor. He truly seemed to be putting his entire fighting spirit into the match. He just hoped that his friend wouldn’t overdo it and make himself weary.

As soon as he stepped off the floor Hajime bowed his head, “Excellent match, Souji, it seems you’ve struck some fear into them.” The opposing teams bench seemed to be in a furor, and they were pointing at the two of them. “I expect things will become more challenging,” he said while gripping his sword, “but I am looking forward to teaching them what kendo is truly about.”

With that he stepped out onto the floor and spoke to Hijikata. What they didn’t know however was that at the same time a ref, who was wiping down the floor, had applied some extra wax to his half, smirking as he walked away.  
**_~_**  
“You’ll enjoy it,” Souji promised, still smiling a little. “But watch out. They might be up to something else–no, I’m sure they’ll try some other tricks now. Though I can’t imagine how small the amount of pride they have must be, to use such dirty tricks in a tournament.”

He sat down on the bench, sighing. “Actually, this is going better than I had hoped. I mean, I was looking forward to this day and everyone else would be upset about them destroying it, but if it weren’t for them, I wouldn’t be able to go all out, so it’s actually quite fun.”


	22. Chapter 22

After getting some coaching from Hijikata, Saitou stepped out onto the floor and took his stance, bowing respectfully before his opponent.  He calmly focused on his breathing until the buzzer sounded.

His next attacker was slow but strong, so he decided to dodge and wait for the right moment to attack. However, he wasn’t expecting what came next when his foot slipped out from underneath himself. He barely rolled out of the way in enough time before the strike came towards him. The floor was slick, so when he regained his footing, he knew that he had to change his strategy and face the man head on.

“How the hell did Saitou slip, he never loses his balance,” Nagakura said in an annoyed tone. Harada pointed at the floor, his eyes narrowed, “Look at his side and how it shines more… seems like they are at it again.”

The two men battled and Hajime fought to parry the attacks, but also to keep himself from sliding. The heavy strikes on his arms and wrists were starting to weigh on him, but he kept on fighting until finally he found an opening. He used a daring spin technique, turning on his heel in a flash in order to point the end of his kendo sword at the base of his opponent’s neck.

“You can keep pulling your tricks, but we will still beat you,” he said before bowing and taking his leave.  
**_~_**  
Souji sighed heavily when Saitou returned. “They’re not gonna learn, are they? They can’t win against us… whatever they hope for, it won’t happen.”  
**_~_**  
Hajime sat quietly next to Souji, watching the other teams fall one by one to the cheating Tosa Academy. It was an angering sight, but this was out of their hands. All they could do was sit and wait for their turn.

Once the final seeding was posted Souji and Hajime were evenly matched in points, tied with two members of Tosa Academy. Souji would face his opponent first, then Hajime would face his second. The winner of each match would then move onto the finals.

“All right, I wish you both luck,” Hijikata said to both boys, “Just remember to have fun out there too. Now go on and win your matches, I want to see you spar against each other in the finals.”  
**_~_**  
Souji smirked slightly as he got up, mumbling, “I don’t understand what’s the point in us fighting each other, though. I mean, the winner is Hakuo, no matter if I win or if Hajime-kun does. But I won’t complain about some more entertainment.”

He took in a fighting stance, deciding to finish this opponent off rather quickly.

His eyes lit up when he leapt forward after hearing the start signal, cornering his opponent immediately and making him stumble back until he fell before holding his sword to his neck.

“You used up all the good guys before, huh?–What? You said you were one of the strongest fighters of your school? Then your school can’t be all that good… I mean, I’m not even the best one of our school. There’s at least one guy better than me.”

His gaze went to Hijikata and Kondou briefly before he stepped back.

“See you in the finals, Hajime-kun.”  
**_~_**  
Hajime was impressed with how quickly his friend dispensed of his opponent, considering how long their previous matches were. As Souji walked past him, he nodded and moved to take his place on the floor.

His match however did not go quickly; in fact, it was extremely challenging for him. There were many close calls that he barely dodged, and as the match soon dragged on to twelve minutes. Both boys were exhausted, but Saitou was able to find a small opening, and using a powerful strike, he split his opponents shinai into two pieces. Because his opponent no longer had a sword, he lost the match, and Hajime was judged the winner.

He was about to walk off the floor when an official stopped him. “Wait, a Challenge has been issued accusing you of cheating, please hand me your Kendo sword so that it can be inspected.”

Hajime was surprised, but did as he was asked. The officials convened in a group and compared his sword to two others before moving to the judges table. Suddenly they cracked open a hilt, and inside there were hidden heights.

“Saitou Hajime has been disqualified for using an illegal shinai, Tosa Academy will take the victory and move on to the finals.”

Saitou stood there in shock. His eyes went wide, knowing full well that those were not in his shinai; they had to have switched his out.  
“Cheating?!” Hijikata ran up to him extremely disgusted, “Hey what’s the meaning of this? Saitou won that match fair and square!” He stood there and argued as Hajime walked off the floor quietly with his head held low.

“I did not cheat… My name, our school is now tarnished,” he muttered to himself, “I cannot believe this…”  
**_~_**  
Souji let his hand fall to Saitou’s shoulder heavily. “Kondou-san and Hijikata-san know you didn’t cheat, and I do, too. But they’ve definitely gone too far now. The guy I’m now fighting is their captain, right? I’m gonna show him what it means to upset me.”


	23. Chapter 23

Hajime nodded his head, but Souji’s words didn’t take the crushing feeling away from his chest. He had been training and preparing so hard for this event, and now his wins were stripped of him by a group that was corrupt to the core. Kondou and Hijikata’s argument with the officials ended, and thy both walked back with anger on their faces.

“They refuse to budge, they actually believe those officials,” Hijikata said while grasping his fist, “I’ll file a complaint to reinstate your wins, Saitou, don’t worry.” He turned to Souji and said, “Be careful, Souji… and play this match completely by the book.”

The captain of the Tosa team was tall with blonde hair. He had a sense of arrogance about him as he leaned in to speak with Souji before the match. “So you are the last one left standing? I must say I’m unimpressed,” he said coldly.

He lowered his voice after the captain gave his retort, “Oh, by the way where did your school’s little cheerleader go? You know, the cute one with brown hair? I hope she’s OK…”  
**_~_**  
“Ah, actually it’s not like you weren’t guilty about that,” Souji smiled coldly. “You can’t help being disqualified in a tournament like this, but as long as I have my inhaler, I’ll always get up again. What were you hoping for–someone else standing here? Me not recovering from my coughing attack? Sadly, I have to tell you you’re not gonna win. And I’m not going to tell you anything about Chizuru-chan. She belongs to Hijikata-san already.”

He lowered himself into a fighting stance. “Let’s have a good fight.”  
**_~_**  
“Yukimura belongs to me, but you’ll all find that out soon enough,” Chikage said as he lazily took his own stance, not taking the boy before him seriously. He was weak, and an obnoxious fool.

Unlike the others Chikage had pure skill, he did not need to cheat to win, he had raw skill that was unmatched. He lifted his sword and as the buzzer sounded, he began a heinous assault.  
**_~_**  
Thanks to the fact that his body was very slender and flexible, it was easy for Souji to dodge the first thrusts, but he quickly noticed that his opponent was a better fighter than the ones from before.

“Wow, I actually might have to put some effort into defeating you,” he snarled and jumped backwards. “You’re better than I expected from someone from your school.”

Furrowing his eyebrows in concentration, he tried to make up a strategy.  
**_~_**  
Chikage noticed that he was moving quicker than expected, and was able to dodge his attacks. It was quite unexpected, perhaps this fool was better than he thought.

“I’m not from that school, I transferred over from Satsuma,” he snarled, “Don’t lump me in with those Tosa scum.” When Souji jumped back he reset his stance as well, but decided to start moving in a circular motion around him, waiting for him to make the first move.  
**_~_**  
Chikage noticed that he was moving quicker than expected, and was able to dodge his attacks. It was quite unexpected, perhaps this fool was better than he thought.

“I’m not from that school, I transferred over from Satsuma,” he snarled. “Don’t lump me in with those Tosa scum.” When Souji jumped back, he reset his stance as well, but decided to start moving in a circular motion around him, waiting for him to make the first move.  
**_~_**  
“Heh, but you’re fighting for them right now,” Souji hissed as he jumped forward, aiming for Kazama’s feet before settling back to defend himself.  
**_~_**  
“Only to fulfill a debt,” he scowled while resetting his stance once more. After a few more minutes of intense fighting, as their bamboo blades crossed, Chikage said, “I’m growing bored of you, I want to go play with my new toy.” A smirk grew across his face, “I’m going to finish you with my next strike.”

Chikage arrogantly jumped back, taking his final stance. He was going to use all his strength to beat this brat and end it once and for all.  
**_~_**  
“Whatever you’re talking about… I’m not gonna let you win.” Souji rose his sword to block the powerful stroke and when their swords crossed, he stumbled back a few steps. “…wow. Didn’t expect that.”

With those words, he lowered himself into the right stance to hit his final blow.  
**_~_**  
Chikage moved forward quickly, putting all his remaining strength into his sword. But something was different this time, something he didn’t expect. The other boy was actually faster than him, and within the blink of an eye he felt the bamboo tip against his throat.

“How… how did that…” he stuttered in a stunned voice.  
**_~_**  
Souji pulled back his sword and took a step backwards, breathing a little heavier than before.

“You know, Kazama… I made a promise. I promised to win… actually I shouldn’t have been fighting you here, but then your friends cheated to make Hajime-kun be disqualified. I have to admit, though… you’re almost as good as him.”  
**_~_**  
Kazama snarled and said, “You were lucky, that’s all. I’ll surpass you and your friends.” He turned sharply on his heel and walked off the floor, not even willing to accept his second place trophy.

“Souji, you did it,” Hajime said with a prideful look on his face. “Arigatou.”   
Kondou walked up and pulled him into a hug, “I’m so proud of you Souji, that was amazing.”  
Even Hijikata seemed to have a small smile form on his own face as he nodded towards the boy.  
Heisuke, now on crutches, hobbled his way over and said, “Souji, that was insane! How did you beat him? I wanna know!”  
**_~_**  
Souji smiled and chuckled a little when Kondou pulled him into his arms, and to Saitou, he said, “Well, I had to keep my promise, didn’t I? I promised to make our school win…”

Turning towards Heisuke, he added, “If you have something you believe in or something you want to come true no matter at what cost, that can make you stronger than anything else… think about it.”  
**_~_**  
Heisuke grinned and nodded, “Well, then _next_ year it’s gonna be my turn to win the tournament!” Everyone was in a good mood, but that soon changed when Harada and Nagakura walked up with worried looks on their faces.

“Have any of you seen Chizuru,” Harada asked concerned, “She was watching the match and supposed to meet us, but she never showed up.” Nagakura nodded, “Yeah, and that’s really unlike her.”  
**_~_**  
Souji let out a heavy sigh, his eyebrows furrowed angrily. “Don’t tell me that guy has actually tried to take Chizuru-chan with him. I’m starting to get slightly annoyed by him.”  
**_~_**  
“Yukimura? She’s missing?” Hijikata’s face turned angry as he said, “What guy? Where is he?” The teacher reached down and grabbed one of the spare kendo swords, “When I find him I’ll…”

“Hijikata,” Sano said putting his hand on the fellow teacher’s shoulder, “Calm down. They can’t be too far off.”

Saitou’s eyes narrowed as he looked over at his friend, “Not only have they cheated, but now they are harassing Chizuru-san?” He gripped his bamboo sword and said, “I feel the urge to teach them a lesson now, Souji.”  
**_~_**  
“My darling friend from Tosa who actually belongs to Satsuma, Kazama,” Souji replied sarcastically, “also known as the guy who took Hajime-kun’s place in the final. Feel free to go and teach him, Hajime-kun, I already had my fight with him. I believe he’s someone worthy to be your opponent, so just let everything out on him.”  
**_~_**  
“That blonde bastard,” Hijikata said growling, “Come on, Saitou, let’s…”

Saitou shook his head, “Hijikata-san, let me take care of this. If you are found to have been attacking a student, you could lose your job.” He stood there tall and said, “Let me handle this, Sensei.” He turned to Souji and said, “Would you be my backup?”  
**_~_**  
Souji smirked slightly, “As expected of Hajime-kun, you’re always thinking of everything. Of course I’ll be your backup if you want me to. Kazama will be happy to see me again.”  
**_~_**  
Hajime nodded and said to Hijikata, “Don’t worry, we will return shortly with Chizuru-san.” He turned and left with Souji, walking through the crowd looking for her. It didn’t take them long though as he heard a voice yell “Yamete!”

As they turned the corner behind the building, Kazama had Chizuru by the arm, and there were several other students around him. Hajime gripped his sword and stood ready, “I believe she told you to stop.”

“Saitou-senpai, Okita-senpai,” Chizuru said as Kazama pulled her in close.

Kazama looked at him sharply, “Stop? I see no reason to stop.”

Saitou stood there calmly and said, “Let Chizuru-san go or else I will have to engage you all.”  
**_~_**  
Souji let out an irritated sigh. “Sorry, Kazama. I don’t have a problem if you come to fight or bully me, but if you continue with my friends… that’s going too far. Let Chizuru-chan go. And if you don’t intend to, I’ll let Hajime-kun have the pleasure of taking care of you since I already did so once.”  
**_~_**  
Kazama raised an eyebrow and wrapped his arm around Chizuru’s waist, not saying a single word. He looked more annoyed than anything. “Chizuru belongs with me, not with your lowly academy.”

“No, I want to be with my friends, not with you,” Chizuru yelled while trying to pull away from him.

With those words Hajime glared seriously at the group, taking down two low level threats with one swing.  He stared at the tall skinny man with a ponytail and the burley, serious man still beside the blonde.  There was a calm fire in Hajime’s eyes as he approached the first of the two other men. “I do not wish to quarrel with you, my fight is with him.” The tall man nodded and stepped aside, taking the man with the ponytail with him.

He approached the blonde quickly, using his bamboo sword to send a flurry of quick attacks. Because he was so fast, Kazama had to let go of Chizuru. In that moment Saitou stepped in front of her and said, “Chizuru-san, go to Souji so that you don’t get hurt.”

“Hai…be careful Saitou-senpai!” She said while running over to Souji and hiding behind his back.  
**_~_**  
Souji lifted his eyebrow when he saw the men leave Kazama’s side without complaining, but then he focused on Chizuru who hid behind him.

“Don’t worry, Chizuru-chan. Hajime-kun doesn’t need luck–if even I could defeat Kazama, then there’s no way he’d lose to him.”

He cursed inwardly for forgetting the fact that Chizuru didn’t know about his illness and mentioning it this way, and hoped she wouldn’t notice the way he just had spoken.  
**_~_**  
“Huh? But Saitou-senpai always said you were more skilled than him,” she said worriedly while grabbing the back of his uniform. “If you had trouble beating him, then…” Chizuru wiped her eyes and said softly, “Okita-senpai… is he really going to be okay?”

Hajime stood there calmly as Chikage angrily approached, “Amagiri, Shiranui, why did you move aside?” Amagiri looked over and said, “Because he is correct, we do not have a quarrel with him. We fulfilled our obligations for Tosa Academy. Your choice to take the girl is your own.”

Chikage snarled, why did his squad always have to be so moral… it disgusted him. “No matter, I will defeat you easily,” he said approaching Saitou with speed.

Hajime stood there with his sword still behind him, waiting for the last possible moment to draw and stop his strike. The sound of their swords hitting each other echoed in the quad. Souji was right, this opponent was skilled but he was also arrogant with the way he fought.

As their fight continued a crowd started to gather, and people were whispering. “Isn’t that he guy who got thrown out for cheating?” – “Is he beating up another student because he was kicked out?” – “I don’t know, I think it was Tosa who cheated, I mean look at that guy’s skill!”

Hajime was putting forth what appeared like no effort as he blocked and dodged Kazama’s fury. His pride had already been injured once today, he was not going to lose once more.   
**_~_**  
Souji sighed inwardly and turned around to look into Chizuru’s eyes. “I… didn’t mean it that way. Forget what I said, okay? Look, Hajime-kun is totally fine. He’s just really annoyed after everything that happened, and he needs someone to let it out on.”

Hearing the other people’s whispers, he mumbled contently, “Seems like at least they finally see what it’s really like… but hey, Hajime-kun, don’t kill him, okay?!” he then called out to his best friend.  
**_~_**  
Chizuru looked at Souji confusedly, but nodded her head and replied, “Okay, if you say so, Okita-senpai.” She looked around and noticed it was only Souji and Saitou who were there. “I wonder where Hijikata-san is,” she said in a slightly deflated voice to herself.

Hajime turned around and nodded to his friend, before returning to the fight at hand. Within the next few moments the crowd started to cheer “Hakuo, Hakuo, Hakuo” as he continued to push back Kazama. Hajime was embarrassed by the attention, so he decided to end this fight.  He waited till he saw a brief opening and struck the other man in the wrist, then the shoulder, and then once to the chest. That would stun him enough, so Hajime sternly said, “I hope that you have learned never to cause problems with my friends again.”

With that Hajime turned around and walked back to his best friend and Chizuru. “We should get back, the others are likely worried,” he said embarrassed by the attention himself.  
**_~_**  
Souji let out a slight sigh of relief and patted her head. “Hajime-kun told Hijikata-san to stay behind because he could lose his job if he’s seen beating up a student. I believe he’ll be very happy to see us bring you back unharmed.”

He followed Saitou and Chizuru back to the teachers and pushed the girl towards Hijikata gently. “Here she is, Hijikata-san, happy and unharmed~”


	24. Chapter 24

Chizuru felt the gentle push and fell forward right into Hijikata, landing straight in his chest. Hijikata shot a look to Souji as he patted the girl on her shoulders.  
“Gomen'nasai Hijikata-san,” she said while standing back up. “I didn’t mean to worry you all… I’m okay; he just was very, well, forward?”

“It’s fine Yukimura, I’m just relieved to see that you are all right,” he said trying to appear his usual, serious self.  
She nodded and moved back over to Hajime, grabbing ahold of his arm and saying, “You should have seen Saitou-senpai… he was amazing, Hijikata-san!”

Hajime turned bright red and awkwardly looked away. “Umm… it was nothing… really,” he replied quietly while trying to free her iron grip on his arm. “If you’ll excuse me, I’d like to go and change out of my uniform.”  
**_~_**  
“Ah, Hajime-kun’s right. I’ll go and change now, too, if you don’t mind… where should we meet you again, Hijikata-san?” Souji asked, his eyebrow risen slightly.  
**_~_**  
“Just, uh, how about by the van we rented? Then we can go for the victory dinner Heisuke planned,” Hijikata said.  
Chizuru left Hajime and went over to Hijikata, saying, “Can I stay with you Hijikata-san?”  
The teacher swallowed hard and said, “Uh, sure Yukimura… Let’s get going.”  
She smiled and waved to the other two and said, “See you soon, and thanks again, Saitou-senpai and Okita-senpai!”

Once they left Hajime let out a sigh of relief and headed towards the showers. This wasn’t the way he imagined the tournament to go, but at least in the end Souji was able to win and Kondou retained his long-standing title. He couldn’t help however not to feel a bit depressed still about being disqualified.

He returned to his locker and changed into his casual clothes and sat on the bench in the locker room, waiting for Souji.  
**_~_**  
Souji hummed to himself quietly while changing his clothes. He was glad they’d been able to make the tournament end well, and he was even more glad that it didn’t seem to have harmed his state.

Lifting his bag from the floor, he walked over to Saitou—

—and suddenly, he felt his knees weakening and he found himself on the floor, coughing violently.

That much about _feeling well_ and _not harming his state_ …

It hurt more than it had before, and suddenly he was more than worried his inhaler might not help him anymore.  
**_~_**  
Hajime’s face instantly turned pale as he watched Souji collapse onto the floor. He instantly ran to his side, pulling out his inhaler. “Hold on, Souji,” he said with fear in his voice while supporting his back. Hajime placed the device in front of his lips, but his friend was coughing so violently that he couldn’t even gasp for air in between. He squeezed Souji’s shoulder and whispered, “Please, please, hold on, Souji.”  
**_~_**  
Souji’s vision went blurry and his hands clutched in Saitou’s shirt desperately.

“You should… go and tell Hijikata-san…” he managed to say between his painful coughs. “But keep Chizuru-chan… away from here…”

His head fell back and his eyes closed, turning everything black.

“Hurry…”  
**_~_**  
Hajime was hesitant to leave his friend’s side, but as he fell unconscious, he knew that he had to hurry. He laid him down on the bench, then ran out of the locker room, telling Hijikata to come with him. Harada, Nagakura, and Heisuke were left to take care of Chizuru.

“Dammit, not now! Souji, stay with us,” he said, flustered, while picking the boy up. “Come on, we need to get him to a hospital, Saitou!” Hijikata rushed to the car with Hajime in tow, driving furiously through traffic till he pulled up to the hospital.

Once they arrived, it was a fury of motion. The doctor and nurses took Souji away, and they both were forced to wait outside for what felt like hours. Eventually they let them both into the room, where they both sat and waited for any sign of Souji to regain consciousness.  
**_~_**  
When Souji opened his eyes, his vision was still blurry. His head hurt, and his throat hurt even more, but somehow he managed to recognize Hijikata and Saitou sitting next to his bed.

“Hijikata-san… Hajime-kun… am I in hospital…?” he mumbled, even the quiet talking hurting his throat. “I… don’t want to be here…”  
**_~_**  
“S… Souji,” Hajime said, moving over to his side immediately, squeezing the hand that wasn’t hooked up to an IV. “You passed out and then Hijikata-san said we needed to take you here; I’m sorry.” He knew how much his friend hated hospitals, but Hijikata was only following the doctor’s recommendation.  
**_~_**  
Hijikata woke up and slowly walked over to join them. He checked Souji’s forehead, which was completely on fire. “I shouldn’t have let you fight all those matches,” he said, clenching his fist. “I’m such an idiot… and now… now you’re in here.” He turned angrily to Hajime and said, “Don’t you blame yourselves, either of you. I’m supposed to be the responsible adult here.” He paced the room for a minute and then walked outside muttering, “How am I supposed to tell him… I can’t do this.”  
**_~_**  
Hajime looked at Hijikata, then turned back to Souji, only able to squeeze his hand tighter. “I… I do not know what Hijikata-san is talking about…”  
**_~_**  
“It’s not your fault, Hijikata-san… you couldn’t know…” Souji had his eyes fixed on Hijikata as his teacher left the room, trying to reassure Saitou by returning the tight squeeze. “It’s not like I’d know for sure,” he said quietly, his voice hoarse. “But I assume it’s about… my death… if the inhaler doesn’t work anymore, I don’t think I have much time left…”


	25. Chapter 25

Hajime’s heart stopped beating, just long enough for his own face to grow pale.  
Death.  
No, it couldn’t be that close. The tournament was over, but they still had so much more to do. His eyes glassed over as he said, “No, no… You’ll be fine and we can take you home tomorrow.” However, the look on his friend’s face said otherwise.

His own hand started to shake, despite his best efforts to stay calm. Before he knew it, his eyes were starting to drip and he crashed onto his friend’s lap. “I’m sorry, Souji… I can’t help myself. Forgive me.”  
**_~_**  
Souji squeezed his eyes shut to hold back the tears that started to well up when he felt Saitou collapsing on his lap.

He’d never seen his best friend cry before, and it was a worrying, disturbing sight.

“What are you apologizing for? There’s no need for you to do that… Hey, don’t cry… you said it yourself–I’m going to be fine…”

But his voice, too, didn’t stop shaking.  
**_~_**  
The way that his friend spoke had the opposite effect; Hajime felt even worse. “Yeah, we’re gonna go back home,” he said trying to pull himself together. “…and we can finish up studying for that history exam together. And then you can go to practice with me in a few days.”

_Dammit, Hajime, be stronger than this. You have to be there for your friend. You can’t be so selfish._

But the conversation in his mind couldn’t stop him from feeling so heartbroken.   
**_~_**  
Souji pulled him up to hug him as good as he could with only one arm. “It’s going to be fine,” he whispered like some kind of mantra, also to calm himself down. “Nothing’s gonna happen. We’ll be fine.”

When the door opened and Hijikata walked back in, he looked up.

“Hijikata-san… have you calmed down?”  
**_~_**  
_I should be supporting you_ , Hajime thought as he felt Souji’s arm around his shoulder. “You’re right… It’s going to be fine,” he repeated quietly, though the words just didn’t seem too convincing.  
**_~_**  
Hijikata shoved his phone in his pocket and nodded his head. “Yeah, I’m fine; sorry. It’s been a long… trying day.” What the doctor had told him was not good, but he was still struggling to find the words to say. Souji was so young, how could he tell him he was running out of time?!

He walked over and sat down on the opposite side of the bed from Saitou. “Souji, we can take you back home tomorrow morning,” he began to explain, “But…” This wasn’t like him in the least, but this boy was like a younger brother to him, his family. Hijikata took ahold of his hand with the IV, careful not to bump the needle in his wrist. “Do you want to know what they said?” He would leave it up to Souji as to whether or not he wanted him to speak about the elephant in the room.  
**_~_**  
Souji swallowed, mentally preparing himself for what he was about to hear.

He could just say “No, don’t tell me” now, but he wanted to know how much time he had left.

“Please tell me, Hijikata-san. If you don’t want to hear it, Hajime-kun, you can also leave the room…”  
**_~_  
** Hajime sat up, shaking his head lightly. He kept a firm grip on Souji’s hand as he said softly, “I’m not leaving.” He looked into his best friend’s eyes and thought, _I won’t leave you alone… Not now, not ever._  
****_~_  
Hijikata broke through the silence that spread over the room, “Your right lung is only functioning at 20% right now… so it will become very hard to breathe.” His hand squeezed tighter, “If you rest it could be a few weeks, but if you continue to be active… then it will be much sooner.”

“I know you aren’t the type to sit and do nothing, so you have some thinking to do,” he said trying to hide the water forming in the corners of his eyes. “Whatever you decide, I’ll agree with; it’s your choice.”

He looked down, closing his eyes chocking back his emotions, “Do you want us to stay, or leave for a bit?”  
**_~_**  
“What the hell, Hijikata-san,” Souji mumbled, his voice nearly breaking as his hand clutched in the back of Saitou’s shirt. “You never go along with my choices. I’ll have to slow down now, huh…”

He coughed slightly and a weak grin formed on his lips, trying to negate the tears that were slowly starting to run down his cheeks.

“…stay, please.”  
**_~_**  
Hijikata tensed up when Souji spoke and objected, “I know, but this…” His voice deflated and was quiet as he finished, “…this is different than those times.” As he asked them to stay, he nodded his head, not moving at all.  
**_~_**  
Hajime sat there stone faced, unable to say a word as he watched Souji, his best friend, start to cry. All he could do was shift himself onto the Hospital bed and carefully pull Souji into his own chest. He gripped his friend’s hospital gown, letting his own tears start to fall as well.  
**_~_**  
Souji’s silent sobbing slowly changed to a louder, more painful coughing, and he leaned away from Saitou to avoid getting his friend’s clothes bloody.

“Seems like… I can’t even cry, heh,” he whispered, his voice hoarse. “My throat seems to hate me.”

He always said he didn’t fear death–which was mostly true; he didn’t fear death if it was about dying in an honorable way. But this way of dying, suffering a long time before it was actually going to happen… that was a way of dying he was scared of.

“I… don’t want to die. I’m scared,” he finally admitted.


	26. Chapter 26

“I don’t want you to die either,” Hajime replied while pulling his friend back in close. He didn’t care about his clothes; it was Souji he cared about most. “I know this sounds selfish, but you can’t go yet, I won’t let you,” he said gripping him tighter. “I’m not letting you leave us.”  
**_~_**  
Hijikata could no longer restrain himself as he watched this unfold in front of him. He knew there was no way he could protect the boy from death itself; he couldn’t protect either of them from the emotional pain; he couldn’t do anything at all. “I’m sorry,” he muttered, feeling as if he had failed both Souji and Saitou while standing up slowly to leave the two of them alone for a while.  
**_~_**  
“You’re not sounding selfish…” Souji’s heart clenched when he saw Hijikata and Saitou like this. He didn’t want them to suffer so much because of him.

“Hijikata-san!” he then called after their teacher, “Don’t apologize. It’s not… your fault. I shouldn’t have dragged you two into this. If it’s anyone’s fault… then it’s mine…”

He tried to strengthen his voice. “I think the guys from the kendo club should know… will you tell them, or will you send them here?”  
**_~_**  
Hijikata said with his back to them, “I think we all just need to blame someone or something, and the easiest one to blame is always yourself.”

“Souji, you feel guilty because you are sick, but you didn’t choose to be,” his shoulders dropped. “And Saitou, you’re blaming yourself for getting Souji to participate in the tournament and taking time away from him… and me…”

“I blame myself for not being able to protect you all for this,” he said, burying his face in his hands. “You’re family, all of you are like brothers… and I feel as if I should have done something… anything…”

“If we blame anyone, it should be death itself for choosing to you too soon,” he said harshly as if his words could slay the reaper. “Saitou, stay here with Souji; I’ll go and talk to the others… I need to see Kondou in person, so I’ll come back in the morning.”

“Please, both of you get some rest, If not for yourselves then for me, okay?” He then slowly stepped towards the door, closing it behind him as he left.  
**_~_**  
Souji let out a shaking breath, trying to finally calm down. “You’re probably right, Hijikata-san. Thanks.”

After the door had closed, he wound himself out of Saitou’s arms and shuffled around on the bed, trying to make a bit more space.

“Come here, Hajime-kun. You can lay down here, or at least rest your head on the mattress… Hijikata-san told us to rest, so let’s follow his order, huh?”  
**_~_**  
Hajime nodded and decided to crawl up onto the bed beside Souji. He wasn’t quite sure if he would be able to sleep that night, but he would try since Hijikata had asked. His eyes closed tightly as the sound of the beeping heart monitor and the sound of the dripping IV echoed in the otherwise silent room. He clung to the sleeve of Souji’s hospital gown as if he wanted Souji to know he was there… and that he was never going to let go.  
**_~_**  
Souji let out a quiet sigh and one of his hands clenched on the back of Saitou’s shirt as he silently appreciated the warmth of his friend’s body next to him.

“…thanks,” he mumbled, closing his eyes. “I can’t thank you enough.”


	27. Chapter 27

Hijikata arrived at the hospital early the next morning and sat quietly in a chair as the two boys slept. His eyes were bloodshot and red after spending the night with Kondou telling him the bad news. He was absolutely devastated, and instead of being able to let out his own feelings, he had to support Kondou as well. The stress was starting to weigh on him, but he had to be strong for everyone’s sake. That was his job, he had to be the glue that kept everyone together.

The nurse came in, disconnected the IV from Souji and turned off the heart monitor making the room grow quiet. He buried his face in his hands after she had left and closed his own eyes momentarily until he heard the sound of someone shifting on the bed.

“Souji, are you okay?” he asked in a quiet voice.  
**_~_**  
Souji blinked tiredly and looked up to Hijikata. “Ah, Hijikata-san, good morning… I guess I’m as fine as I can be in my state.”

He rubbed his eyes and finally found himself more or less awake.

“You look tired. Do you want to sleep here as well?” he offered, a tiny smirk on his lips. “…I bet you told Kondou-san, didn’t you? What did he say?”  
**_~_**  
“No, I’m fine, I can sleep after I get you home,” he said while sitting upright. Hijikata nodded and chose his words carefully, “I did, and he took the news as expected, but we can talk about that later.” He figured that this was a conversation that should happen at his flat rather than in a public hospital.

He stood up slowly from his chair and said, “I know you want to leave here as soon as possible, so why don’t you wake up Saitou while I sign off on your papers. I think we will all relax more once we get back.”  
**_~_**  
Souji lowered his head slightly in agreement and shook Saitou’s shoulder lightly while Hijikata left the room.

“Hajime-kun, wake up~ Hijikata-san is here. He said we can go home, and he’s gone to sign off my papers now.”  
**_~_**  
“Hmmm… ahhh… Souji,” Hajime said half-awake as he opened his eyes. His back was a bit stiff from the hospital bed, so he stretched as he sat up. “That’s good, I know how much you dislike these places,” he said. His stomach grumbled a bit and he turned flush with embarrassment. “Perhaps we should also get some food after Hijikata-san returns.”  
**_~_**  
Souji nodded in agreement. “Yeah, I hate hospital food; I’d rather eat something at home.”

A little quieter he added, “…thanks for staying. It’s, like… really reassuring when you’re here, no matter what you do. Maybe the presence of my friends is the best medicine, huh…”  
**_~_**  
“Maybe we can get burgers,” Hajime said with a smile. “That one shop has those big shakes you like.” He listened as Souji continued to speak quietly, taking ahold of his friend’s arm, “Perhaps it is, that’s why I will never leave you alone, Souji… I promise.”

He stood up and offered his best friend a hand to stand up as Hijikata entered the room, “Come on Souji, let’s go home.”  
**_~_**  
Souji smiled slightly and took Saitou’s hand, accepting his help without complaining. “Yeah, let’s go home.–Hijikata-san, can we get burgers from that one shop on the way? I’m quite hungry, and Hajime-kun said he was, too.”  
**_~_**  
“Sure, we can stop there, but you have to be good kids and clear your plates before you can have your milkshakes,” he teased.

“I have no problem with eating my full share of food Hijikata-san,” Hajime said confusedly. Hijikata shook his head and laughed, leading them down to his car. He drove them both to the burger shop and went inside, getting a table quickly.

“Welcome to… oh, Saitou-senpai,” a girl waitress said excitedly. “Would you like your usual? Tofu burger with extra tomato and a banana shake?”  
Hijikata raised an eyebrow and muttered to Souji, “Does Saitou have a… no?”

Hajime nodded his head and she looked at the other two asking with a smile, “What can I get you both?”  
**_~_**  
“…what the hell? A tofu burger?” Souji chuckled quietly. “I’ve never heard of that. Ah, I think I’d like… just a usual cheese burger. But with extra cheese. And a chocolate shake.”

Then he leaned in to Saitou, “ _Saitou-senpai_? Where does she know you from? As far as I know you don’t come here that often.”  
**_~_**  
“It is seasoned quite well, Souji, you should try it sometime,” Hajime said as Hijikata placed his order.  He looked at Souji and said nonchalantly, “Miyazaki-san is one of the students that I have tutored outside of our academy, sometimes when she has to work, I stop by here on her lunch break to assist with her studies.”  
**_~_**  
Hijikata sipped his black coffee and smirked a bit, trying to hide it behind his mug. “That’s very nice of you, Saitou, she seems to really enjoy your study sessions.” It wasn’t really like him to act this way, but a little bit of teasing never hurt.

“She is an excellent student; I don’t know why she believes she needs to be tutored, but I am happy to help her,” Hajime replied.  
**_~_**  
“Nooo, of course she needs to be tutored,” Souji joined Hijikata’s teasing. “She probably wants to see you as much as possible.”

When the girl brought his burger, he nodded to her thankfully.

“Mh, that’s so good. I’m so glad I could leave before they’d force me to eat that hospital food.”  
****_~_  
“Yes, I’m glad too, this is quite delicious,” Hajime said while eating his tofu burger. “The texture is perfect, and she truly did add extra tomato which gives it a good taste.”  
Hijikata ate his burger quietly in between sipping his coffee, which he had already refilled three times.

“How is everyone’s lunch?” the girl asked with her eyes sparkling. “Saitou-senpai, would you like more whipped cream on your shake? It looks like they skimped on it… What about you, Saitou-senpai’s friend… do you need more as well? Perhaps more cherries? Or would you both like a slice of pie? The apple is fresh today!”

Hijikata tried desperately not to snort at the scene unfolding before him. Saitou had no idea what this young girl was hinting at. “I could use more coffee, please, and thank you,” Hijikata said.   
**_~_**  
“Ah, a little more cream would be nice. And–just so you don’t have to call me _Saitou-senpai’s friend_ anymore; my name is Okita.” Souji smiled at her friendly, but when she went back to the counter to get what he had asked for, he turned to Hijikata, rolling his eyes.

“I know exactly what you feel like, Hijikata-san.–Hajime-kun, I don’t think you need to worry about having a girlfriend as long as she lives.”  
**_~_**  
Hajime straightened up in his seat and said, “Girlfriend? Uh… I… er… She’s just a girl that I tutor; that’s all.” He turned red and promptly started sucking down his milkshake to cool his cheeks.

Hijikata shook his head and muttered under his breath, “I think Saitou may need to spend some time with Sano… he has no clue.”  
The waitress returned and put a large amount of whipped cream on both their shakes, and even brought over pie to go for each of them. It was quite overboard, but none of them turned away her kind gestures.

“Saitou-senpai, I hope I’ll see you again at study group soon,” she said. “And it was a pleasure to meet you all as well.” She skipped away and Hijikata left money for the bill and tip.

“We should go before we leave here fifteen pounds heavier,” Hijikata said while motioning towards the door.


	28. Chapter 28

“I completely agree with you, Hijikata-san. I believe only Sano-san or Shinpachi-san can teach him in that case… and I think Sano-san is the better choice, then.” Souji got up and stretched his arms. “You’re right again, I don’t want you to have to roll me around. I won’t fit in the car anymore, too, if I eat more. Are you coming, Hajime-kun?”  
**_~_**  
Hajime stood up and nodded, carrying their slices of pie as they left the restaurant. He couldn’t help but continue to wonder what those two were talking about; she was just a girl who was nice. Why did he need Harada-san’s help? He shrugged it off, however, since there were other things to focus on.

The flat was a welcomed, familiar sight for everyone. Hijikata collapsed in his chair and kicked off his shoes, leaning back. “Ahhh, this is so much more comfortable,” he muttered while closing his eyes, falling asleep almost instantly.

Hajime turned to Souji and said, “I suppose he’s exhausted, we should let him sleep.”  
**_~_**  
Souji nodded. “Yeah, he definitely needs some sleep. He can tell me about how Kondou-san took the news when he’s awake again. Though I bet he’ll be in a bad mood then because I’m sure his back and neck will hurt if he sleeps like this.”  
**_~_**  
“Hmmm, but I don’t want to wake him,” Hajime said quietly, picking up a blanket from the couch that Hijikata normally slept with. He placed it over him as he slept and said, “Perhaps we should go rest for a bit as well? Then when he wakes up we can all talk.”  
**_~_**  
“We just got up before eating,” Souji replied a little teasingly, but then nodded. “We can lie down again until he wakes up. It’s not like we had anything else to do, right?”  
**_~_**  
Saitou nodded and walked back to the bedroom. In reality he wasn’t tired, but he knew Souji had to rest. He didn’t want his friend wearing himself out because if he did, then… Saitou forced the thought from his head and laid down on the bed with his novel beside him. “If you aren’t tired, I could always read this to you, it’s quite a good book.”  
**_~_**  
“You want to read to me?” Souji asked, a little surprised. “That hasn’t happened in at least ten years… I’d love it if you would! What’s this book about?”  
**_~_**  
“It’s called _The Call of the Wild_ and it’s an American book about a boy learning to survive in the wilderness of the yukon,” He explained. “I like to read in general, so I picked this up from the library a week ago.”

“It’s got a lot of action in it, so I’d think you would enjoy it,” Hajime said with a tiny smile. He was happy to see Souji be excited about something, and if he could take his mind off things for a while, that would be great. He opened the book and started reading it aloud from the beginning.  
**_~_**  
Souji laid down next to Saitou and closed his eyes. It had been an eternity since someone had read to him–the last person to do that had been his mother who had died in a car accident quite a while ago

When Saitou started reading, he started losing himself in the story. He could see the characters and their actions in front of his eyes.

Slowly, Souji relaxed and he drifted to a light slumber where he could still hear the gentle voice reading for him.  
**_~_**  
After a little over an hour had passed, Hijikata appeared in the doorway. He ran his fingers through his hair and said, “Sorry about that, I didn’t expect to fall asleep… is everything fine?”

Hajime closed the book and set it on the nightstand, “Hai, I was just reading this book to Souji.” He reached down and lightly shook his friend’s arm, “Ne, Souji, are you still awake?”  
**_~_**  
Souji blinked and rubbed his eyes, rolling onto his back to look at them. “Yeah, I’m awake… thanks, Hajime-kun. It’s an interesting story. Are you better now, Hijikata-san?”  
**_~_**  
“Yeah, I’m fine, Souji,” Hijikata said, taking a seat on the corner of the bed. “I can continue to bring Saitou’s work home, and also administer any exams so that’s taken care of,” he said, turning to the other boy. “That way you don’t have to worry about your studies. We all know how hard you work, Saitou.”

“Arigatou, Hijikata-san,” Hajime said, lowering his head in thanks. Without realizing it, he grabbed Souji’s wrist lightly, knowing what conversation was coming next.

“Kondou… he wants to know if you want to stay here or if you want to stay with him,” Hijikata said. He didn’t want to be blunt, but he was asked to speak with Souji about it. “I don’t mind you being here, but I think he may also want a chance to, well, spend more time with you.”

“It’s your preference, and either way, Saitou is welcomed to stay, so it’s just something to think about.” His eyes showed how much it pained him to be having this conversation, it wasn’t easy asking a boy where he wanted to spend his last few weeks. There were other things he needed to ask, but he hesitated to bring them up.  
**_~_**  
Souji stared up at the ceiling thoughtfully. “I… honestly, I don’t know… he’s been like a father to me, so I should give him that chance, right? But I don’t want to see you less either, Hijikata-san.”

He let out a heavy sigh. “I’ll… go to him. If Hajime-kun can come with me, and if you come to visit me, Hijikata-san.”

Then he fixed his glance on Hijikata. “You look like you want to say more. Go ahead.”


	29. Chapter 29

Hijikata nodded and said with a slight smirk, “Well, at least Kondou’s home if larger; I wouldn’t need to sleep on the couch if I stayed there as well.” As Souji brought up that he looked like he wanted to say something else, it was true, but again he couldn’t bring himself to touch on those subjects. They were ones you should have with an elderly family member, not someone so young.

“Is there anyone you want me to find for you, or invite over?” he said. His voice dropped quieter as he apologized, “I’m sorry, I hate doing this… maybe we should do this another time.”  
**_~_**  
Souji clenched and unclenched his hands, feeling the tension surrounding Hijikata. But if his teacher didn’t want to tell him, he wouldn’t ask anymore.

“No, I think I’m fine. You don’t need to apologize; you’re doing your best to… well… stay the way you are, and I think that makes you really trustworthy. I’m glad you’re here, too, although I don’t think it’s too well to keep everything to yourself without ever telling anyone about your worries. I wouldn’t want anyone else than you two and Kondou-san to be with me in this kind of situation.”  
**_~_**  
Hijikata nodded and ran his hand through his hair again. “Thanks, I’m glad you trust me,” he replied. “Don’t worry about me, Kondou is my support… I’ll be fine, Souji. My main concern right now is the both of you.”

“I’m going to go take a shower and then I’ll give Kondou a call,” he said, standing up and heading out of the room. He needed to clear his head before he could think of any of the rest of this.

After he left and the sound of the shower water started, Hajime finally said something. “Souji… Hijikata-san is carrying this burden, isn’t he? Perhaps I should speak with him?”  
**_~_**  
“If you want to,” Souji mumbled. “I mean; I think I understand him. He’s basically our big brother, he wants to keep us happy as long as possible, and he thinks he can’t be weak. I want to talk to him–I’m sure there’s something else he wants or needs to say, but if he doesn’t want to tell me… maybe he’ll talk to you.”

He let out a humorless laugh. “Heh, before I always made everyone desperate and annoyed with my jokes–now I’m making everyone sad…”  
**_~_**  
Hajime laid back on the pillow, almost letting out a sigh. “Perhaps it is best you speak with him; I am not good at those types of things. Maybe he just doesn’t want to talk about them with me around?” He had begun to wonder if Hijikata was starting to feel the need to protect him as well.

He quickly turned his head back to Souji as he let out a fake laugh, “You aren’t making us sad. Do not blame yourself, it’s what you’re facing and forced to endure that we are upset about. We don’t want it to take you from us.”

Those last few words were painful to say, but in a way he felt a bit better getting them off his chest.  
**_~_**  
Souji closed his eyes, his hand taking Saitou’s and squeezing it briefly. “I don’t want to be taken from you either. But Hijikata-san won’t talk to me… you heard him. I think he has something on his mind regarding me or my… death… and I’m the one he doesn’t want to talk to. I don’t think it’s because of you.–And don’t say I wasn’t making you sad. You cried because of me, and you usually never cry.”  
**_~_**  
Hajime could see Souji’s point; he never cried or really even showed much emotion… but recently this hand changed that. “I… I know I did, and I may again, but it’s only because I don’t want to see you like this, Souji.”

He did something very uncharacteristic of himself; he pulled Souji into a hug tightly. He grasped the back of his friend’s shirt, burying his head in the boys shoulder, “You can blame anyone else, but please do not blame yourself. Promise me, please.”  
**_~_**  
“Then it _is_ because of me,” Souji insisted. “I… okay. I won’t blame myself anymore,” he promised, returning the hug. “I’ll stop blaming myself, don’t worry. And I won’t leave you either. Let’s just stay together like this, together with Kondou-san and Hijikata-san–forever, okay?”  
**_~_**  
“Hai,” Hajime replied, refusing to move from that spot, “let’s stay like this forever.” He knew it was likely selfish of him to force Souji to make that promise, but he didn’t want his friend to harbor any feeling of sadness or regret. It was important to him, to everyone else, and likely to Souji as well. “Arigatou, Souji.”  
**_~_**  
Souji smiled a little. “Don’t thank me, Hajime-kun. I’m just glad you’re here.”

Then he released Saitou from his hug. “Maybe I should go and look for Hijikata-san. There’s still some stuff he needs to tell me–it’s not going to get better if keeps that stuff to himself. I bet it’s regarding me, so I kind of want to hear it now.”  
**_~_**  
Hajime agreed and decided to lie down for a short nap while Souji went to find Hijikata.  
**_~_**  
Hijikata sat in the living room on the couch, grading more papers and adding the results to his gradebook. He sat there with just a towel around his neck and sweatpants on, not wanting to interrupt the other two to get a shirt. He chewed on his pen as he zoned out, reading the same paragraph response three times.  
**_~_**  
Souji entered the living room and found Hijikata sitting over some papers, chewing on his pen and his eyes somehow unfocused.

“Hey, Hijikata-san,” he said quietly. “Maybe you should take a break. I’ll go and make you some coffee.”

When he had done that, he took the cup to his teacher and sat down next to him.

“There’s still something on your mind, isn’t it?” he asked, handing Hijikata the cup of coffee. “Tell me, please. Or ask me, if it’s a question–but if it’s regarding me, I want to know.”


	30. Chapter 30

Hijikata took the coffee and drank some of it as Souji spoke to him. He’d had a feeling that the boy would come to him. “There is,” he said with a slight sigh, “Dr. Matsumoto suggested I ask you what your… desires are.” He gripped the warm mug a little tighter before setting it down.

“Do you know what a DNR is?” he asked while grabbing the boy’s wrist lightly. “If you don’t, I can explain it, but if that’s something you want, I have to have you sign a paper.”  
God, why did he have to be having this conversation? A do not resuscitate order was a personal choice that he shouldn’t be making… let alone what he prefers happen after he passes on.

“It’s your choice if you want to talk about this stuff or write it down, I just want to make sure it’s… everything is handled the way you would want.”  
**_~_**  
Souji swallowed and shook his head slowly. “It’s… not going to do any good if they resuscitate me, is it… I mean, I doubt that when they do that, my tuberculosis will be gone afterwards. I… know my lungs are destroyed, and since they only have a certain time to resuscitate me, they can’t… _fix_ that beforehand.”

He buried face in his hands. It was probably a selfish choice because he didn’t want to suffer more, but he was convinced it was better for everyone.

If he suffered, everyone else would suffer as well, after all.

“I think it’s the best if I sign one,” Souji mumbled quietly, his voice muffled by his hands. “I’m sorry if that seems selfish, but I don’t want to suffer anymore. I don’t want you and Hajime-kun to suffer, either–he says I wasn’t making him sad, but I know I am. And I know you’re sad because of me too, Hijikata-san.”  
**_~_**  
_I don’t want to suffer anymore._

Those words hit Hijikata hard in the gut. Souji wasn’t just suffering physically; the mental strain was equally painful. He pulled the boy in close, grasping him tightly. “It’s not selfish Souji,” Hijikata muttered, “I understand completely.”

“None of us want to see you suffer, that’s why we are so upset,” he said while finally letting some of his own tears lose. Souji was right; he had been bottling everything up inside, and it was making him sick. But maybe just this once, he would let it all out; for his own sake and so that Souji would stop worrying about him.  
**_~_**  
Souji nodded, swallowing heavily. “I know. That’s one of the reasons why I don’t want to suffer anymore. Because I hate seeing you all upset because of something I can’t change.”

Somehow he was glad Hijikata finally let out his feelings, and he pressed himself against him and buried his face at his shoulder.

“I’d change it if I could. I’d change it so none of us would have to suffer, and that we wouldn’t have to talk about being resuscitated or not. I don’t want to die, and I don’t want to suffer or be the cause for my friends’ suffering…”  
**_~_**  
“I know, I know, Souji,” he replied, trying to choke back his feelings. He wished there was a way that Souji, Saitou, and Kondou wouldn’t suffer… but there was just no way around it. This was Souji’s fate, and it pained him to admit it.

“I just want you to know that I’ll take care of them all, I promise you that,” Hijikata said. “Saitou, Kondou, Heisuke, all of them… I’ll take care of all them.”  
**_~_**  
“…thanks. Thanks for everything, Hijikata-san. You’re all doing so much for me… I want to repay you somehow,” Souji mumbled, his voice a little muffled because he was still pressing his face against Hijikata’s shoulder. “I feel like I owe you and Hajime-kun and also Kondou-san a lot…”  
**_~_**  
“You don’t need to, we’re practically family,” he said quietly. “That’s what we do.” Hijikata rubbed his back in a soothing manner, “…Even if I had to go through this with you in multiple lives, I wouldn’t have it any other way.” He may not have always showed it, but Souji meant a lot to him, and he would do whatever he had to for him time and time again.  
**_~_**  
A smile hushed across Souji’s lips. “You’re right… probably everything that’s happening has its purpose, right? And instead of complaining, I should just be glad I don’t have to go through this alone.”

Then he remembered what they had talked about before, and asked, “Uh, you said I had to sign a paper… when do I have to do that? Do you have it here, or does Dr. Matsumoto have it?”  
**_~_**  
“Oh, yes, I have it along with other thing he gave me at the hospital,” he said, sitting up and letting go, only to grab his briefcase. He pulled out a stack of papers and brochures, separating out the DNR and power of attorney papers on the table.

“There are others, but you really don’t need to go through that crap,” he said, brushing them aside. There was a template on how to build a last will, memorial suggestions, last words for your loved ones. They were there if he wanted them, but he wasn’t going to force him to look at anything more.  
**_~_**  
Souji took the papers and signed them, slowly, carefully, his hand shaking slightly.

“I hate it,” he mumbled. “I can’t stand being that weak and unable to do anything. Only thinking about it makes me want to…–I don’t even know what it makes me want to do. I just know that it’s the worst feeling I’ve ever had.”

His hand clenched around the pen he just had used. “I want it to stop. Now.”

Then he put down the pen. “…I’ll stop complaining. It’s fine.”  
**_~_**  
Hijikata held in a grimace as he watched Souji struggle. He wasn’t sure if it was the mental toll or the physical one that made his hand shake. Or perhaps it was both. He quickly took ahold of his hand and said, “No, you have a right to complain. I’ll listen, Saitou will listen, as would Kondou.”

“I’ve know you for quite a while, and you are anything but weak,” Hijikata said a little firmer. “You always fight, and even if we try to hold you back, you keep fighting anyway. That’s who you are.”  
**_~_**  
Souji let out a small, sad laugh. “Thanks. But I know I’m weaker now. Why else should I–”

He was interrupted when a coughing attack hit him, tears of pain welling up in his eyes.


	31. Chapter 31

“Souji!” Hijikata grabbed ahold of his shoulders as the boy violently coughed. He wasn’t sure why, but he still took out the inhaler he kept on him. “Here, Souji.”

Hajime heard the sound of coughing, and even though he knew Souji was likely with Hijikata, he still rushed to his feet. He hurried into the living room and kneeled on the floor. “Souji,” he said while reaching for his friend’s leg.  
**_~_**  
Souji doubled over in pain, and blood splashed over the floor before he felt the inhaler being pushed between his lips.

“I-it hurts… I can’t…”

It didn’t feel like the inhaler helped much–he had been told that already–but eventually, after what felt like an eternity, the cough subsided, leaving Souji laying on the floor with his arms and legs splayed out, breathing fast and heavily, a sharp pain shooting through his throat and lungs with every single breath.

“S-sorry…”  
**_~_**  
Hijikata stood up and silently cleaned up the floor before grabbing another, this one wet, and handed it to Saitou.   
**_~_**  
“Souji,” Hajime said while carefully lifted his friend’s head and laid it on his lap, “It’s ok, just relax… It’s over.” He took the cloth Hijikata had given him and wiped the blood from his face and lips, careful to not press too hard. Once that was finished, he tossed the clot aside, sitting quietly as he watched Souji’s chest rise and fall irregularly.  
**_~_**  
“As much as I’d like to… relaxing is… a little hard right now,” Souji whispered, his voice rough. “It… it hurts, Hajime-kun, Hijikata-san… it hurts more than usual…”

He closed his eyes, trying to regain his composure, and a shudder ran through his body.  
**_~_**  
Once he heard those words, Hajime stood up and picked up his friend. His skin felt clammy as he carried him back to the bed, setting him down carefully. He propped up two pillows below his head in the hopes that it would ease the pain in his chest.    
**_~_**  
Hijikata came in and sat on the other side of the bed. He checked Souji’s pulse which was rapid, likely from the episode he just had. “A very minor fever,” Hijikata mumbled, “but everything else seems fine.”   
**_~_**  
Hajime squeezed Souji’s hand lightly, “Can I get you anything, or do you just want me to stay here?”  
**_~_**  
“Something to drink would be nice,” Souji said quietly, fearing that he’d start coughing again if he spoke any louder. “And I probably should get some rest, but… I don’t feel like I could sleep now or something…”

Usually the pain would subside eventually, but not this time. He probably had been lucky to have no problems until now although one of his lungs was barely working anymore, but in exchange for that, it felt just worse now.  
**_~_**  
Hajime got up and immediately went to the kitchen to find something to drink. There was some mango and pineapple juice still left, so he mixed the two together with ice and grabbed a straw from the counter before he headed back into the bedroom.

“Here, I brought you some juice,” he said while taking a seat next to him and holding the glass.   
**_~_**  
Hijikata’s face turned emotionless as he sat there. “How is the pain? They gave me a prescription for it, but I don’t know how much it will help,” he said. Likely it would make him sleepy, but whether or not it would take the edge off was undetermined.  
**_~_**  
Souji took a sip from the glass and enjoyed the coolness running down his throat. “Thanks, Hajime-kun…–It’s… not really getting better,” he replied, just slowly regaining the power to control his voice. “I mean, the pain’s still there–not as strong as before, but it’s not subsiding.”

He closed his eyes, exhaling shakily.  
**_~_**  
Hajime ran his hand through Souji’s hair and said, “Just rest a bit, I’m sure it will pass.” Rather, that was what he hoped. His best friend was suffering and there was nothing he could do except for sitting there and helping him when he needed something.

“Hijikata-san, would you invite Kondou-san over here?” he asked. “I don’t think Souji should leave.”

Hijikata nodded and patted Souji on the shoulder, “Yeah I will call him; then I’ll find the spare futon and set it up on the floor.” He stood up slowly and continued, “Saitou, I’m leaving him to you.”

“Hai, Hijikata-san,” Hajime nodded.  
**_~_**  
Souji let Hijikata run his hand through his hair without complaining and when his teacher left the room, he moved a little closer to Saitou.

“Hey, Hajime-kun… can you hold me a little…?”

After remaining quiet for some time, he mumbled, “And… you’ll take my sword then, won’t you?”, hoping that his friend would know that he was referring to the time after his death without having to mention it.

Souji was one of the students who occasionally brought an own sword to kendo practice and to the contests, and he wanted Saitou to have the sword he had been using for the past two years.  
**_~_**  
Hajime nodded softly and pulled him closer, then listened to the sound of his friend’s uneven breathing. When Souji mentioned his sword he nodded softly. “I would be honored to use it,” he replied slowly. He knew how important that practice sword was to his friend, and it truly made him happy to be offered it.

“…that way you will always be fighting with me,” he finished while holding onto him a little tighter. “Thank you.”  
**_~_**  
Souji smiled almost gently and nodded. “That’s why I want you to take it… you don’t need to thank me. It’s only natural that I’d want my best friend to have it. I’d hate to have it be thrown away or something like that just because nobody uses it anymore–and I know you’ll put it to good use.”

His eyes fell closed as he nuzzled his head against Saitou’s chest. “I’m… gonna try and sleep a little, okay? Wake me up when Kondou-san’s here…”


	32. Chapter 32

Hajime watched over his friend quietly as he slept.  
About an hour later Kondou arrived and walked into the bedroom. He motioned for him to be quiet and said, “Saitou, I brought some dinner so go eat something, I’ll take over for a bit.” He hesitated leaving, but let the older man slide onto the bed and take Souji.

Kondou didn’t want to wake him since he likely needed the rest, so he sat there quietly on the bed, letting the boy rest against him. He wasn’t sure how much time he would have left with Souji, but he wanted to make sure that he felt loved and was surrounded by those who cared about him the most.  
**_~_**  
Souji blinked tiredly and yawned, finding himself resting on someone else’s chest.

“K-Kondou-san,” he mumbled, reaching up to rub his eyes. “I… I thought I told Hajime-kun to wake me up when you arrive…”  
**_~_**  
He chuckled softly, “Oh, he wanted to, but I wouldn’t let him; remember, my orders still outrank yours.” Kondou stretched his arm for a moment then placed it back around his shoulders. “He’s is eating dinner with Hijikata in the other room,” he explained. “You looked like you needed the rest, so I took his place. Hope you don’t mind.”  
**_~_**  
Souji shook his head. “No, it’s fine. I’m glad you’re here, Kondou-san. But I’d like to eat something as well; that attack I had earlier was pretty exhausting and I’m hungry.”

But he didn’t make any move to get up and instead only pressed himself closer against Kondou.  
**_~_**  
“Well, then I suppose it’s a good thing I brought you dinner as well,” Kondou said with a grin. “Toshi, you want to bring in Souji’s food?”

Hijikata walked in with a take-out container of udon soup full of noodles, veggies, and chicken. “It’s not chicken soup, but it’s close enough,” Kondou laughed. Hijikata left the room right after to give Kondou and Souji some space.  
**_~_**  
Souji smiled slightly. “Thanks.”

He started eating and immediately felt a little better.

“I signed a DNR,” he mumbled, unsure if Kondou wanted to hear that. “I don’t want anyone to suffer more because of me, after all.”  
**_~_**  
“Wait, what,” Kondou said taken back, “Why did you… who asked you to do that—the doctor?” He seemed really surprised, first off that Souji knew what that was, and secondly that he would sign such a thing. “The doctors didn’t pressure you into it, did they?” he said seeming flustered. “I… don’t understand what you mean about not wanting us to suffer…”  
**_~_**  
Souji shook his head. “No, Hijikata-san asked me if I wanted one. He said he didn’t want to force me or to make that decision for me, but Dr. Matsumoto had given the papers to him in case I wanted to sign them.”

He let out a silent sigh. “You’re all sad because of me. Hajime-kun cried because of me–and even Hijikata-san did, for a short time. They usually never do that–sad if they do, they must be really suffering, right?! That’s what I mean. And if they resuscitate me, they still can’t fix my lungs and if I continue suffering, everyone else will too. I can’t stand seeing that… I’m sorry if it was a selfish decision.”  
**_~_**  
Kondou listened to Souji’s reasoning and lowered his own head in embarrassment. He had grossly overreacted without even considering that this may have been his choice.

“Oh, I understand now… It’s not selfish, Souji,” he said quietly. “If you’ve thought it through and that’s what you want, then I will accept it.” He quietly let out an awkward laugh, “I forgot how mature you can be at times.”

“I’m relieved to hear Toshi let it go, even if just for a little bit,” Kondou said. “To be honest, I don’t know how any of us would have handled this without him.” He smiled slightly at the boy and continued, “He really does care deeply for you like a brother; if he could take your place right now, he would do it in an instant.”  
**_~_**  
“Maybe you’re right, but I wouldn’t want him to take my place,” Souji replied. “Probably I’m exactly the same as him if it comes to that. I guess we have to accept this the way it is, right? It’s… too late to do anything now.”  
**_~_**  
“Have you given up and just accepted this as your fate, Souji?” he mumbled quietly. Usually the boy would fight tooth and nail, but the prospect of facing death had changed him. He was more worried about others suffering than about himself. He seemed scared of death, but at the same time accepting it. This gave Kondou such a strange feeling inside his heart.

“I’m sorry, Souji, I’m not the one in the bed suffering from this, I shouldn’t have said that,” he said pulling away. “Please forgive me.”  
**_~_**  
Souji shook his head slightly. “I’m just… trying to be mature… I don’t want to die, but–I don’t know if Hijikata-san told you already–the doctor said my right lung was only working at 20%. Maybe it’s even less by now. It’s not like I was going to survive this. I… could probably die any second, so… I’m trying to accept it…”

His voice got more quiet with every word he said, and his hands clenched to fists.

“Don’t apologize. I’m the one who’ll leave you all alone, after all. If I continue fighting, it’s just going to make me die faster.”  
**_~_**  
“He… he told me, but I didn’t want to hear it,” Kondou admitted. “I suppose I’m the only one in denial that this is still happening.” He shook his head slightly and said, “I just don’t know what to say or do right now.”  
**_~_**  
Souji let out a heavy sigh. “Neither do I. But I think it’s okay. I’m just trying to enjoy the time I have left, so I don’t have to regret anything.”  
**_~_**  
Kondou nodded softly and leaned back on the bed against the wall. “Well, if there is anything I can do other than just stay here with you, please tell me,” he said, trying to smile while ruffling Souji’s hair with his hand. “…and I mean _anything_ , so don’t hesitate to ask.”  
**_~_**  
Souji lowered his head thankfully. “I will, though I can’t think of anything right now. But if you think there’s anything I definitely shouldn’t miss before I–before I’m gone, feel free to tell me about it.”  
**_~_**  
“Well, one thing I can think of is dipping fries into a chocolate shake,” Kondou grinned. “Have you ever done that? It’s one of my favorite things to do after a tough day at the academy.” He laughed, “There’s something about the warm, salty fries and a chocolate shake that just cheers me right back up.”  
**_~_**  
Souji furrowed his eyes briefly, but then nodded. “Sounds like something I’d do, right? So let’s try to convince Hijikata-san and Hajime-kun of doing it as well.”

His eyes lit up a little. “Even if we end up not liking it, I bet it’ll still be fun.”  
**_~_**  
“Excellent, I’ll make sure we do that tomorrow. I know just the place to order from, too, on my way back from the academy,” he grinned. “…and I’ll make sure Toshi joins in as well… He needs more fun in his life.”   
**_~_**  
“Right. I mean, making him cry is probably nothing to be proud of, but I’m glad he at least can let out some of his feelings. Though it’s a very sad sight to see him cry.” Souji chuckled. “How about we just invite them to something to eat without telling them what we’re gonna eat? Then they have no choice but to try it.”


	33. Chapter 33

“All right, boys, time to wake up from your naps and get some lunch,” Kondou said, walking into the room, still wearing his suit. “I only have an hour and a half before I have to get back to work, so let’s get moving… you too, Toshi!”

Hajime raised an eyebrow, confused that Kondou would leave work to take them to lunch. With Hijikata taking time off, who was in charge of the Academy right now? Harada? Nagakura? He followed Kondou’s suggestion, however, and quickly left the bed and found his jacket and shoes. “Do you know what this is about Souji?”  
**_~_**  
Souji smiled slightly as he got out of the bed together with his best friend. “I do, but it’s a surprise for Hajime-kun and Hijikata-san, so I’m not going to tell you~”  
 _ **~  
**_ “Surprise? Hmmmm, interesting,” He replied as they left the room to join Hijikata and Kondou. 

“Kondou, I told you I have things handled here… Oh, Souji, Saitou.” Kondou laughed and lectured Hijikata about how all work and no play is boring, then insisted they come along with him. After a little while, they arrived at a small diner where they were escorted to Kondou’s usual booth in the back corner.

Hajime and Hijikata started looking over the menu, and that was when Kondou looked at the waitress and said, “I want the usual for everyone.” Both men raised their eyebrows in surprise. Hajime decided to accept quietly while Hijikata said, “Huh, but I was going to order a panini…”

Kondou shook his head, “Nope, just trust me, Toshi.”  
 _ **~**_  
Souji leaned back against the bench, waiting for their food to be brought. “I’m kind of curious. I mean, I ate all kinds of food, but I never tried something like that.”  
 _ **~**_  
Hijikata turned to Souji and said, “Well, it’s some fancy sandwich popular in America. They grill it in a press so it gets all warm and the cheese melts while the bread is toasted on both sides.” Hijikata hated to cook, but he was always quite the food connoisseur when he ate out.

The waitress returned with four thick chocolate shakes and four plates of crispy french fries, setting them in front of everyone. Hajime blinked and looked down, confused as to if something else was coming out with it. Hijikata looked at Kondou and said, “No… you didn’t.”

Kondou grinned, “All right everyone, Souji has never tried this before so I want all of you to dip your fires into the chocolate shake and eat them.”  
**_~_**  
“Mh… it’s quite… special,” he commented, not sure if he should like the taste or not. “But I don’t think it’s bad. Maybe my tongue just has to get used to it a little.”  
**_~  
_** Kondou grinned, “As you keep eating it it’ll get even better, just trust me.”

Hajime did as he was instructed as well, even though he was a bit hesitant. “Hmmmm, it’s like a palate of opposites,” he said aloud, “Warm fries, cold shake… sweet ice cream, salty…” He tried another, then another and thought deeply about the mix of tastes. It truly was different, and also good as well. “I do agree; it tastes good, Kondou-san.”

Hijikata sighed and said, “You know I don’t like sweets, Kondou.” He popped the fries into his mouth, not touching the shake.

“Toshi, just try it,” Kondou said as he shot the man a glare, “Do it for Souji… please?”  
**_~_**  
“Come on, Hijikata-san,” Souji started and held one of his fries with only a little chocolate in front of his teacher’s mouth teasingly. “It’s not even completely sweet, because of the fries. And I remember that time in the amusement park when you ate ice cream without having any problems with it.”  
**_~_**  
“That was different, it was a gift,” he said in a low voice. “Fine, fine, I’ll eat it.” He let out a snort and took the fry from Souji’s hand. Hijikata ate it and then returned to his plate of fries.

“Well, did you like it, Toshi?” Kondou said wriggling his eyebrows.

Hijikata sat there silently.

“Toshi?”

“…it wasn’t bad…” he replied quietly.  
**_~_**  
Souji smiled slightly. “See, I told you. You should be open to try something new sometimes.”

He leaned back, happy to be able to spend some time with his friends like this.

“…thanks. Somehow I’m really happy.”  
**_~_**  
“I _do_ try new things,” Hijikata snorted while continuing to eat trying not to make a fuss over it. “Make sure you drink your entire shake; you need the vitamins more than the fries.” Kondou smirked and let out a small laugh as he winked at Souji.

Hajime nodded and replied, “You’re welcome… though all we did was go for shakes… which by the way I must respectfully apologize to you, Kondou-san. I will never doubt your culinary suggestions again. Please tell me if there is another combination that I need to try.”  
**_~_**  
“Do you?” Souji chuckled, teasing, but already knowing Hijikata probably wouldn’t react to it anymore. “By the way… what part of chocolate shake has vitamins? Isn’t it more like a mass of sugar?”  
**_~_**  
“Well, there is vitamin D in the milk, and Calcium,” Hijikata said, trying not to appear flustered, realizing that Souji was right, “And chocolate has vitamin E…   
maybe some others too.” He folded his arms and said, “Just drink your shake.” He bit down on his straw and sucked the thick chocolate up to his mouth.

Kondou laughed, “Well, I can say that chocolate shakes are excellent food for the soul… so I suppose it’s healthy in that way right?”

Hajime locked at the menu and said, “Well, Souji is correct, this shake does contain 130% of your daily sugar intake according to the information listed. Therefore, so you don’t exceed your recommended allotment, you should only drink around three fourths of the shake. Since Hijikata-san and Kondou-san are older, perhaps they should only have half their shakes or else they increase their risk for diabetes…”

Kondou laughed even harder, so much that he was about to cry as Hijikata gave a “what the hell” look in Saitou’s direction.  
**_~_**  
Souji couldn’t hold back his laughter either. “Wow, Hajime-kun, I’m sure it’s not that extreme. Or could it be you just want to drink their shakes?” he added amusedly, taking a sip of his shake.  
**_~_**  
“But it says right here in the nutritional information… and Harada-san was explaining to us about different…” Hajime began.

“It’s fine, Saitou-kun, we knew you had good intentions,” Kondou san said, slowly starting to let his laugh die down. “Though you are right, Toshi needs to take better care of himself.”

“Says the man who eats fries in milkshakes twice a week,” Hijikata mumbled. “And don’t even get me started on that unhealthy cafeteria food you enjoy so much… I should start calling you Chicken patty-san.”

Kondou started laughing and patted the younger man on the shoulder, “You’ve got me there.” He smiled over at Souji and said, “Well, I hope you’ve enjoyed this lunch out; Toshi, you can handle things from here, right? I need to get back to the academy.”  
**_~_**  
Souji smiled brightly at Kondou. “I did; it was a lot of fun. Thanks.”

Then he leaned over to Saitou, wrapping his arms around his best friend’s neck. “That was cute, though. How you just insisted on what the nutritional information says, I mean.”


	34. Chapter 34

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okayyy so this is the last chapter! The worst one, honestly. We cried while writing it, and I cried while rereading it to make sure there aren't any mistakes, but my eyes still are full of tears and I can barely see clearly, so please forgive me if there still are mistakes. Writing this whole story was the worst decision I could ever have made, but I made it, and so... here it is...
> 
> I hope you could enjoy it at least a little, despite all the ooc-ness!

“You’re welcome, Souji,” Kondou said while standing up and talking to Hijikata quietly for a few moments before leaving.

“Really? Kondou-san seemed to find it funny, and Hijikata seemed a bit angry. I hope I didn’t upset him,” Hajime replied quietly as his head hung.  
**_~_**  
Souji patted Saitou’s head gently. “He’s not upset at you. Hijikata-san loves you very much and you do what he asks you to do more often than me, so he can’t really be angry at you.”  
**_~_**  
“I… I know… I just worry about him,” he said shyly, “like how I worry about you.”  Hajime was happy that they had gone out and had a nice lunch together, it was a nice change. However, he was worried about the fact that Souji’s skin was growing paler.

“Maybe… maybe we should get going, you must be tired.”  
**_~_**  
Souji nodded in agreement, rubbing his temples. “Ugh, all I do these days is sleep… stupid tuberculosis. Why is it me who has it… on the other hand I wouldn’t even want Itou-sensei to have it. Although I can’t stand his presence–not even he deserves this.”

Deciding that a little teasing couldn’t be wrong, he called out to Hijikata, “Hey, Hijikata-san~ will you carry me to the car?”  
**_~_**  
Saitou frowned slightly and pat his hand on Souji’s shoulder. He knew that sleeping in was always something his friend loved, but not being sick and forced to sleep.  
 ** _~_**  
Hijikata stood up tall and moved back over to Souji and said worriedly, “Are you feeling weak? I should take you home… maybe Saitou was right about the sugar.” He leaned over and put his hand on the boy’s forehead, “Hmm, you do feel a bit clammy, but you don’t have a fever.”  
**_~_**  
Souji folded his arms over his chest, pouting. “I was joking, Hijikata-san. It’s got nothing to do with the sugar. I feel a little warm, but I’ll be fine as soon as we’re outside. I’m just too lazy to walk.”  
**_~_**  
Hijikata’s face went from concern to irritation within a second. “Well, if you were joking, you can walk to the car.” This was the one thing that always bugged him about the boy; it was hard to tell whether he was joking or serious. He wasn’t sure why this particular instance irritated him so much, but perhaps it had something to do with the uneasy feeling in his gut.

“Let’s get headed back, I should do some grading,” he said, turning and leaving the two boys behind.  
**_~_**  
“Mou, you’re mean, Hijikata-san,” Souji pouted and got up.

That was when suddenly, the world started spinning. He could barely lift his feet anymore and he felt himself falling.

What he didn’t feel was his contact with the floor–because in that second, a pain hot and burning like fire spread through his throat and lungs and blood splashed to the floor when he started coughing violently.  
**_~_**  
“Souji,” Hajime said, falling to his knees beside his friend. He tried to help him sit up, but Souji was coughing so violently that his muscles were completely clenched. “Souji, hang on… I’m right here.”  
 _ **~**_  
Hijikata hated it when his instincts were correct. He quickly pulled out a handkerchief from his suit and placed it over the boy’s mouth to catch the blood before it spread even further. He knew the inhaler wasn’t working anymore, so all he could do was stay kneeled down and pat his back, hoping his attack would quell soon.  
**_~_**  
Souji pressed the handkerchief to his mouth with his left hand, his right hand gripped Hijikata’s shoulder, searching for support to pull himself up to his feet.

“Let’s… go home,” he managed to mumble between two coughs. “I… want to go home…”  
**_~_  
** Hijikata nodded, and both he and Saitou helped Souji to his feet and each supported a side in order to get him to the car. After a short drive back to the flat Hijikata handed the apartment keys to Saitou, then quietly lifted the boy up and carried him to the bedroom. He felt bad for being mad at him earlier, so as he set him down carefully he finally said, “I’m sorry Souji.”

Hajime returned to the room with a glass of cool tea with honey to calm his throat. He sat down on the bed and moved close to his best friend while holding the glass, “Do you feel well enough to drink something? This may help.”  
**_~_**  
“D-don’t be…” Souji reached out for the glass, but his hand was shaking so much that he worried he might spill the water, so he pulled back. “I…–it won’t stop… it hurts, and it won’t stop…” he mumbled, knowing that the cough wouldn’t subside this time.

After what felt like an eternity, it lessened a little, leaving him breathing heavily and feeling like he was going to burn, his voice shaking and hoarse. “It’ll… be over soon…”  
**_~_**  
Both Hajime and Hijikata stayed by his side and waited till his cough slightly subsided. Hajime held onto his friend’s hand, feeling his grip waver from strong to weak. He looked at Souji and said, “I’m glad it’s passing... I was so worried.”

However, Hijikata could tell by the look in Souji’s eyes that he meant something else. He meant that he knew his end was approaching. Hijikata swallowed hard, closing his eyes for a moment. “Saitou, why don’t you go get a cool cloth for me,” he suggested.

After the boy had left the room, Hijikata carefully shifted Souji into the middle of the bed, taking a seat to his left. He quietly pulled him close and whispered, “I’m not leaving you unless you want me to. Otherwise I’ll stay here with Saitou.”  
**_~_**  
“Yeah… please stay,” Souji whispered weakly. “…I feel so bad… because Hajime-kun misunderstood, but I can’t bring myself to explain what I’m talking about.”  
**_~_**  
“I’ll stay then, Souji,” Hijikata replied. “…and don’t feel bad, you don’t need to explain. Just let him be here. That may be what’s best for him.” He took his handkerchief and wiped the blood from his lips. “I’ll take care of him for you, you know that,” he spoke gently, “and I want you to know, while you drive me nuts sometimes… you are my family, Souji.”  
**_~_**  
Souji relaxed in Hijikata’s arms. “I can’t thank you enough… I want to stay with you all forever, I don’t want to be the one who has to leave now. But I–”

He coughed weakly, “–I don’t want to think about it, to be honest…”  
**_~_**  
“It’s fine, don’t think about that,” Hijikata said. “Just think about the good times… please.”

Hajime returned and placed the cool cloth on his friend’s head, wiping in gently with one hand while his other rested on Souji’s chest. “Does that feel a bit better now? You seem warmer than usual,” he said quietly.   
**_~_**  
“A little,” Souji mumbled quietly, “as good as I can feel with death in my neck, I guess.”

His lungs still hurt, but the cough had mostly subsided for now, which was why he closed his eyes. “I’ll try sleeping a little… to get some rest and–stay a little longer…”  
**_~_**  
Hijikata held the boy a bit tighter as Hajime turned pale. Did he just say death was close, and that he would try to stay longer? No, he couldn’t be going yet. He had been fine and they had been laughing earlier, this was just another attack that would pass… right?

He squeezed Souji’s hand and nestled in closer, trying to ignore the sad look in Hijikata’s eyes.   
**_~_**  
A weak, sad smile spread on Souji’s lips as he squeezed Saitou’s hand. He felt like he knew exactly what his best friend was thinking and he whispered a very quiet “sorry…” before he fell asleep.  
**_~_**  
Hijikata and Hajime both didn’t move from their spots. They stayed put on the bed just as they promised, and didn’t leave Souji’s side as he slept.

“I’ll always be with you, Souji,” he said just above a whisper as he squeezed his best friends’ hand. Hajime held in his tears, not wanting Souji to see him upset. The last thing he wanted was to make his best friend feel any worse than he already did. He quietly sacrificed his fear and sadness, replacing it with support and a desire to make sure that his friend continued to smile.   
**_~_**  
Souji woke up feeling the same burning pain as he had felt the day before. He gasped for air desperately, his body spasming and doubling over with pain.

That much for _staying a little longer_ …  
**_~_**  
Both Hijikata and Hajime woke up instantly. Hijikata gripped Souji’s body to try and help him to stop shaking the entire bed, while Saitou held onto Souji’s hand which had formed a fist.

“S… Souji,” Hajime said trying not to sound too upset, “I’m here… I’m not letting go.”  
**_~_**  
“I-I know,” Souji somehow managed to whisper hoarsely as he felt tears running down his cheeks.

It was over now, he knew it–it was even worse than the day before, and he could barely regain control over his hands in order to grasp his friends’ hands.

“S-sorry…”  
**_~_**  
“Don’t apologize, Souji, there is no need,” Hajime said quickly. “Just…Just promise you’ll watch over us.” He gripped his friends hand tightly, and placed his other hand on the boy’s shoulder.

Hijikata pulled Souji as close to his body as he could, feeling his strength start to sap. His own heart was racing as he looked down, and he hoped that the gods wouldn’t make him struggle much longer.   
**_~_**  
“As if–as if there was a way I wouldn’t,” Souji coughed out, writhing in pain. “I’m not… gonna disappear…”

A particularly painful cough made his body spasm once more before his head fell back.

“Don’t forget me…” he whispered, a sad smile spreading on his lips. “But don’t be too sad…”

 _Thanks for everything. It was the best time I could’ve imagined…_ , he added mentally, unable to say anything anymore.

Then, everything in front of his eyes slowly turned black.  
**_~_**  
“We’d never forget you Souji,” Hijikata smiled. “And we’ll try not to be too sad,” Hajime finished. They stayed with him as his eyes closed, and breathing slowed. Hajime leaned into his best friend’s chest and held onto his body as his heart slowed.

_Thump…_

_Thump..._

_Thump._

Then it was gone.

Hajime let out a quiet sob into Souji’s chest, trying to honor his best friends wish by not being too sad. It was so hard, but he knew it was hard for Souji as well. He just hoped that now he could rest, and be without pain.


End file.
